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I (F26) live with my fianc??s (M24) family,I?m the only one working and I drink every night to cope. (by Sparky)
(30 / M-F / Massachusetts)
I (F26) live with my fianc??s (M24) family,I?m the only one working and I drink every night to cope.
We?ve been together for almost two years.
I don?t even know where to start. I live with my fianc? and his family, and it?s honestly driving me insane. They?re not mean or anything, but I feel like I don?t belong here. Like I?m just this awkward outsider no one really knows what to do with. They don?t talk to me like I?m an adult ? it?s either small talk, awkward silence, or I just get completely ignored.
And my fianc?? I love him, but when his mom?s around, it?s like he changes. He mirrors her, acts different, like he?s still trying to be her golden boy. I feel invisible, even in my relationship.
He?s between jobs right now, and I know he?s trying, I really do ? but I?m the only one working full-time and it?s starting to get to me. I feel like if we?re ever going to get our own place, I?m going to have to pick up a second job just to make it happen. That makes me so tired I want to cry.
So yeah ? I drink. Every night after work. Not to have fun, but just to get through the evening without snapping or crying or completely shutting down. I?m so overstimulated, bitter, and mentally exhausted that I don?t even feel like myself anymore. I hate this version of me ? constantly irritated, disconnected, and checked out. But I don?t know what else to do.
I miss having space. I miss having peace. I miss feeling like an adult with my own life. Right now, I just feel stuck in this in-between where I?m supposed to smile and stay polite while everything inside me is screaming.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? How did you deal with it without completely losing yourself? I want to be patient. I want to be supportive. But I also want to stop feeling like I?m drowning every day. Any advice?
TLDR: My fianc? is in between jobs so we had to move into his families place because we can?t afford rent right now. I work full time but am considering a second job because it seems he?s too comfortable here and won?t move forward
Source.
We?ve been together for almost two years.
I don?t even know where to start. I live with my fianc? and his family, and it?s honestly driving me insane. They?re not mean or anything, but I feel like I don?t belong here. Like I?m just this awkward outsider no one really knows what to do with. They don?t talk to me like I?m an adult ? it?s either small talk, awkward silence, or I just get completely ignored.
And my fianc?? I love him, but when his mom?s around, it?s like he changes. He mirrors her, acts different, like he?s still trying to be her golden boy. I feel invisible, even in my relationship.
He?s between jobs right now, and I know he?s trying, I really do ? but I?m the only one working full-time and it?s starting to get to me. I feel like if we?re ever going to get our own place, I?m going to have to pick up a second job just to make it happen. That makes me so tired I want to cry.
So yeah ? I drink. Every night after work. Not to have fun, but just to get through the evening without snapping or crying or completely shutting down. I?m so overstimulated, bitter, and mentally exhausted that I don?t even feel like myself anymore. I hate this version of me ? constantly irritated, disconnected, and checked out. But I don?t know what else to do.
I miss having space. I miss having peace. I miss feeling like an adult with my own life. Right now, I just feel stuck in this in-between where I?m supposed to smile and stay polite while everything inside me is screaming.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? How did you deal with it without completely losing yourself? I want to be patient. I want to be supportive. But I also want to stop feeling like I?m drowning every day. Any advice?
TLDR: My fianc? is in between jobs so we had to move into his families place because we can?t afford rent right now. I work full time but am considering a second job because it seems he?s too comfortable here and won?t move forward
Source.
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