Me (34F) and my husband (35M) have been arguing about his memory for our whole relationship

A bit of background: Me (34F) and my husband (35M) have been together for about 8 years, married for 4. We have a 2.5 year old and 1 year old who are absolutely joys and we love being parents, but are definitely very tired.
He works 5 days a week. I work 1 day in person on one job and 25 hours of another job flexibly online. The kids go to childcare 2 days so I have to fit most of my 25 hours into evenings, naps and weekends, as I have the kids 3 days a week.
My husband is an incredible husband and father. He is kind, understanding, pro-active, loving and always sees the good in everyone and everything. Our kids adore him and we are generally very very happy.
Onto the problem: We have had the same argument for the entirety of our relationship. He has a terrible memory. We've tried to find ways to mitigate this or work around it (alarms in his phone, notes etc.) but nothing seems to stick. It's gotten to the point where I feel I have to micro-manage most things in our life and I can't give ownership of any part of our life to him, because he'll forget to do it, or forget an important details of it. If I remind him or timetable in when he can do something (and then remind him), he'll do it and he never minds doing anything at all. He's definitely not avoiding, it really is just memory.
We are both tired and I know that is contributing to our disagreements. I want to find a way around this because I don't feel like I can go on having to remember everything all the time. I'm struggling with the cognitive load of 2 toddlers and 2 jobs and remembering everything else that needs doing in our life.
When we talk about it, he always promises that he'll do better, comes up with things he or I can try to help him remember etc. And sometimes it helps for a bit but it never lasts.
My question: He's such an incredible person and father and it's just this one thing.
Should I accept this is the compromise for everything else that he is?
Or is there anything we can do?
TL;DR: My husband and I have a great marriage, wonderful children and a happy life. But his memory is terrible and the pressure of maintaining our happy life relies on me remembering everything in our life. Do I accept this and make the best of it? Or keep trying to make things better?


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