I (27 f) just had my second child with a man (59m) I dont want to be with.

Bare with me guys because theres some background information required here. I was an addict for many years. I met my current partner during that time. Hes much older then I am, but it never bothered me before. I ended up getting pregnant with our son Michael who is now 21 months old. 5 days ago, I gave birth to our baby girl. Shes currently in the NICU because I'm on methadone and shes basically detoxing. Please do not pass judgement for this- I've been clean for nearly 3 years. They do not allow you to wean off methadone while pregnant. The thing is, I am no longer attracted to their father. In fact, I dont want him to touch me or come near me. If I dont have sex with him once a week he gets a huge attitude and I end up going through it just to get him to leave me alone. We fight a lot. Whenever our son cries or throws tantrums he gets mad at ME. As if I'm supposed to be able to control the kid all the time. Hes a toddler! I am constantly walking on egg shells trying to keep our son quiet as to not upset dad. He gets an attitude about EVERYTHING. im breast feeding and pumping exclusively for our newborn (no formula) and I still breast feed our son, so I eat pretty frequently. Last night dad was laying on the couch around 9 PM and i microwaved some oatmeal and he got all pissy with me that the microwave woke him up. I am still recovering from my c section and the dad hardly helps at all with our son. He only watches him when I go to the NICU to see our baby and nurse her. And when I get back, he yells at me about how annoying our son is and how I have to "handle" him. While I have a gaping wound healing
What am I supposed to do? I'm not working. I dont know where else i would live. And I dont want to take my kids from their dad but I am miserable.
Tldr; have 2 small kids with someone I cant stand and want to leave but have no job or anywhere to go with the kids.


Source.