I (31f) have tried to create fair boundaries with my boyfriend (34m) but he says I'm weakening our bond

I've been with him for the past 5 years. I've wanted to live together several times (he always wants me to live with him) but his behavior makes me hold off.
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I've explained this to him. He has a bad temper and will get upset over issues that I think are inconsequential. When he gets upset, he often will shout/swear. I personally hate this. I currently live with my sister, and in my home there has never been any of this. We argue at times but I don't think we've ever even raised our voices.
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When he gets mad, he also blames me a lot. And it's always over things that are so minor and stupid (to me). For instance, he plugged his phone in, and it fell off the table. So he angrily grabbed the cord (while swearing) and yanked it hard. That caused my coffee to spill. So then he's asking me why the f**k is my f******g coffee sitting there, what the f**k.....
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See? It's all stupid. And it's said loudly and angrily. Whereas just 60 seconds prior we were in a good mood and it was peaceful. Now my stomach is in knots and I'm rushing to grab paper towels (and he's in there swearing, yelling at me the coffee is everywhere and to HURRY UP for **** sakes, and he doesn't want to live like *this* any f******g more (referring to the mess of wires he always has everywhere, which he somehow blames me for because...well, who knows).
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It's all over in a moment and he's sorry and apologizes. But this stuff happens regularly. And it's always minor crap like this....once I forgot to close the door and his dog got into the garbage (he chews up paper and spits it out). He was swearing and shouting at both me and the dog. It took me all of 2 minutes to clean it up....he acts like something major has happened.
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It blows over quickly, he apologizes and he wants to move on. But I don't want to keep living with his anger.
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For the past year, I have told him I will move in once I see that he has his anger under control consistently. He said I can't expect perfection, and he still might lose it once or twice a year. I can live with that. But not every couple of weeks. I've also asked him to go to therapy for anger management and he says he'll go but only if I come along with him.
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So this is my boundary. Each time he acts this way, I leave. Not in a huff....I just tell him I'm leaving if he gets unreasonably angry over nothing (I can handle normal anger...it's the explosive out-of-the-blue anger I've had it with, especially when it is directed at me over nothing...he also sometimes will throw something at the wall in anger and I especially hate that). He said as long as he is TRYING (how will I even know if he's trying?) and apologizes, I shouldn't leave.
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I do anyway. I've left several times over the past few months. I left on Monday too (yet another short-lived episode of anger over nothing where he blamed me for nonsense). This time I stayed away because he's not learning anything as far as I can see, and I just want some peace and quiet. He's very angry with me and says that by staying away I'm weakening our bond. He says he can see I'm not fully committed to him in "sickness and in health" and unless I come back and stop "running away" we need to break up. I don't want to. I love him. But I just want a strategy that will work for behavior modification. He does get unreasonably angry with other people as well, but he only acts like a total toddler with me it seems. I think he'd be too embarrassed to act like this around other people.
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I just need to know if I'm being harsh. By leaving for days each time he gets angry, am I being unfair? If we were married I wouldn't be able to do that, so I'm not even sure what the correct way to handle this is.
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tldr: I leave (for days) each time he gets angry...he says this shows I'm not really committed to him.


Source.