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I(F18) feel like my brother(24) has stolen a significant part of my identity. (by Sparky)
I(F18) feel like my brother(24) has stolen a significant part of my identity.
(I posted this same post about an hour ago but had to remove to add some points.)
I am youngest of four siblings and we all have always been very close to each other but after my eldest brother's marriage and my sister's shift to another state , me and my another brother grew even closer . Neither of us have moved out yet .
I have always been very good at drawing but my skills improved very much in last several years . When I was 15 my brother asked me if he could send some of my sketches to a new girl he has started talking to , his intentions were only to impress her as she was into artistic guys . I , being a young girl whose parents only knew to appreciate grades and friends were not even aware that I draw (I only showed my drawings to my family because at that time I wanted to keep them a secret as I thought that these drawings were way too special for me to share . I know it sounds ridiculous. But that was my thinking as a 15 year old girl) I wanted appreciation for my work . I wanted people to see them and even if I showed them to friends , I thought it won't be enough for me . Plus as I just mentioned I did not want to share this part of me with people but still hungry for appreciation I allowed my brother to send them to that girl . She ended up loving it . Later they got into relationship . And he would pay me to make her portraits. He would tell her that he made them . She also showed them to her friends and my brother got famous among their group of friends for being an artist . And I must mention they had huge group of friends at university they went to. Then his friends would ask him to make portraits for them , he always managed to convince them that he can't do it in front of them because he can only sketch in his room with his pencils and all . He paid me for sketches and I would make them for him . He had several other girlfriends after that girl and I would make drawings for all of them .
It's still continued to this day but now I feel so awful giving my drawings to him .He gets all the praises for them . My parents have forgotten that I even used to draw.They are always so busy to notice that its me who draws. They think they are all his . He shows them to relatives , friends , everybody . He has made them a part of his personality. He is known as an artist of the family while I sit back and feel absolutely terrible for being such a loser . He still pays me for most of the drawings but I think all the money I have received from him till now is not worth it at all .
I must mention that once I tried to bring up this topic to him , subtly conveying my message that I don't want to continue this , I asked him that if I want to impress people by showing off my work how will I be able do it because nobody knows that its actually me who draws . He replied that I am a pretty girl people get impressed by my looks and that I do not need to do anything else to impress others . I explained that its not always about the looks but I think I could not get my point across .
Now I do not know if I should just directly ask him to stop taking my work but I think that would be unfair . After all I myself allowed him to start this all plus he pays me . Plus I do not want to spoil our relationship . He is one of my best friends . He always has been my support ,I do not want to ruin his reputation. But I cannot stop thinking how wonderful it would be if I could show them to people as my own . I regret it all now but I think it will be so rude to just tell him to end this now, I wish he just understands that I am very unhappy about this and stop without me asking . I am very stressed rn and just want to stop thinking about it.What do you guys think I should do now? Any advice would be appreciated.
TLDR: older brother shows my drawings to people as his own but with my consent , I am now sad and stressed about it .
Source.
(I posted this same post about an hour ago but had to remove to add some points.)
I am youngest of four siblings and we all have always been very close to each other but after my eldest brother's marriage and my sister's shift to another state , me and my another brother grew even closer . Neither of us have moved out yet .
I have always been very good at drawing but my skills improved very much in last several years . When I was 15 my brother asked me if he could send some of my sketches to a new girl he has started talking to , his intentions were only to impress her as she was into artistic guys . I , being a young girl whose parents only knew to appreciate grades and friends were not even aware that I draw (I only showed my drawings to my family because at that time I wanted to keep them a secret as I thought that these drawings were way too special for me to share . I know it sounds ridiculous. But that was my thinking as a 15 year old girl) I wanted appreciation for my work . I wanted people to see them and even if I showed them to friends , I thought it won't be enough for me . Plus as I just mentioned I did not want to share this part of me with people but still hungry for appreciation I allowed my brother to send them to that girl . She ended up loving it . Later they got into relationship . And he would pay me to make her portraits. He would tell her that he made them . She also showed them to her friends and my brother got famous among their group of friends for being an artist . And I must mention they had huge group of friends at university they went to. Then his friends would ask him to make portraits for them , he always managed to convince them that he can't do it in front of them because he can only sketch in his room with his pencils and all . He paid me for sketches and I would make them for him . He had several other girlfriends after that girl and I would make drawings for all of them .
It's still continued to this day but now I feel so awful giving my drawings to him .He gets all the praises for them . My parents have forgotten that I even used to draw.They are always so busy to notice that its me who draws. They think they are all his . He shows them to relatives , friends , everybody . He has made them a part of his personality. He is known as an artist of the family while I sit back and feel absolutely terrible for being such a loser . He still pays me for most of the drawings but I think all the money I have received from him till now is not worth it at all .
I must mention that once I tried to bring up this topic to him , subtly conveying my message that I don't want to continue this , I asked him that if I want to impress people by showing off my work how will I be able do it because nobody knows that its actually me who draws . He replied that I am a pretty girl people get impressed by my looks and that I do not need to do anything else to impress others . I explained that its not always about the looks but I think I could not get my point across .
Now I do not know if I should just directly ask him to stop taking my work but I think that would be unfair . After all I myself allowed him to start this all plus he pays me . Plus I do not want to spoil our relationship . He is one of my best friends . He always has been my support ,I do not want to ruin his reputation. But I cannot stop thinking how wonderful it would be if I could show them to people as my own . I regret it all now but I think it will be so rude to just tell him to end this now, I wish he just understands that I am very unhappy about this and stop without me asking . I am very stressed rn and just want to stop thinking about it.What do you guys think I should do now? Any advice would be appreciated.
TLDR: older brother shows my drawings to people as his own but with my consent , I am now sad and stressed about it .
Source.
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