My (25) girlfriend?s (23) mom is interfering with our relationship and my girlfriend?s lack of ability to set boundaries is making me lose attraction to her

My (25) girlfriend?s (23) mom is interfering with our relationship and my girlfriend?s lack of ability to set boundaries is making me lose attraction to her
Posted in relationship advice yesterday but it got lost in the crowd. I?ll start by saying I love my girlfriend with all my heart, but her mom is a nightmare. I can never enjoy an evening with my girlfriend because her mom is constantly blowing up her phone while she?s here. Asking her things like ?what are you guys doing?? ?Why can?t you spend any time here?? ?I don?t know if I trust him.? And will get hostile if my girlfriend doesn?t reply within minutes.
She still lives at home (understandable; I still lived at home at 23 as well) because her mom doesn?t want her to have anything to do with renting. She wants her to buy a house. They?re pretty behind on the times though. When they were our age, mortgages were handed out like candy from my understanding. However today, mortgages are MUCH more complicated requiring a qualifying credit score, sufficient proof of income, good debt to income ratio, and a good down payment. She has 2 of the 4, being the down payment and no debt. However, her parents wouldn?t let her get a credit card so she has no credit to qualify with. Factor that in with 2 hard inquiries from trying to apply too early and it?s looking bleak for the foreseeable future.
They keep pestering her about moving out despite not giving her an opportunity to build her credit. For some strange reason, she still gives in to their every demand despite being nearly 24 years old at this point. I?ve tried to convince her to just get an apartment and keep her savings where they?re at, but she won?t because her mom shoots it down. Her dad is a harmless person and won?t stand up to her mom so it?s basically her mom running the show.
They still treat her like a teenager and lump me in there despite me having my own place, paying my own bills, sustaining an excellent credit score, and running a private personal training business. They get bent out of shape when I can?t drop everything and cater to her 100%. I?ve got 34 clients relying on me and don?t have the time to cater to her mom?s demands, which I?ve stated to her several times before.
Because of this, I personally refuse to be around her parents and family in general because I like to call people on their bull****, which they have a lot of. If I ever go and pick her up, I don?t go inside and see them. I don?t attend any of her family functions like Holidays, birthdays, etc. I?ve got her family blocked on all my social media so they can?t snoop on me.
My girlfriend simply says ?Once I?m able to move out I truly believe it will be different.? But that?s honestly not good enough for me. I?ve communicated with her that I?d like her to set some boundaries with her family when she?s with me but she says all it will result in is her mom becoming more abusive towards her. She basically takes it on the chin and refuses to set boundaries while expecting me to do the same.
We are set to go on vacation in a week. I?ve worked extremely hard 7 days per week to develop my sales skills, personal training skills, gain knowledge in my field, and become one of the lucky few who has made it in the training industry and because of this, I haven?t taken a vacation since 2015. I KNOW her mom will be blowing up her phone while we?re there and I?m not about to let that interfere with a well earned vacation on my part.
The majority of it has to do with her mom, but I also am becoming more wary of the fact that my girlfriend may just not have enough backbone to set boundaries and enforce them. The lack of boundaries present is killing my attraction to her.
This is delicate ground to proceed on and would love any and all input here. I?m at my wits end with it all.
EDIT: She tends to give her mom a pass because of hormone issues from a bad pregnancy that is irreversible. I understand a fair amount about hormone issues as I?ve been having to use Testosterone Therapy the last 3 years. There have been periods where I?ve had to stop my treatment and it throws my hormones extremely out of whack but the difference is I can control my actions. Her mom doesn?t. My belief is that while hormones DO influence how you feel, it?s up to your attitude to decide how you act.
TLDR; My girlfriend?s mom is overbearing and it?s leaking over into my life. She refuses to set boundaries which is killing my attraction to her. How do I proceed?


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