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I finally found the perfect man, there?s just this one thing.. (by Sparky)
(29 / M-F / Massachusetts)
I finally found the perfect man, there?s just this one thing..
I have struggled with finding love for as long as I can remember. At 34 years old, I was decidedly ready to become a crazy cat lady and accept the fact that I would never find the one for me. I had jumped from relationship to relationship my entire 20s, desperate to find someone who makes me feel special. All I found were liars, cheaters, and creeps.
Things got even harder when my mother passed away last year. My dad had never been in the picture and I?m an only child, so I was losing the only family I had. She was diagnosed with cancer only a few months earlier, we never expected her to go so fast.
Losing my mom just made me feel even more alone than I already did. I had no support system to deal with her grief. I didn?t know how I would ever get through it. I just wanted to die as well, at least then I had the chance to be with her again, if an afterlife truly did exist.
I bumped into Ryan a few months ago. I was at a bar, drinking alone as I always did on Friday night. I glanced across the room and his eyes caught mine. He too was alone, but maybe it wouldn?t be that way for long.
I was not good at flirting because it had been so long. I hadn?t been on a real date in over 5 years. As I was arguing with myself over whether I should approach him, a deep voice brought me back to reality.
?Hello,? the voice said slowly and smoothly.
I was ripped from the trance I was in and looked up to see the man standing in front of me. Up close, he was even more attractive than before. He had these dark blue eyes that reminded me of two deep lakes. His hair was dirty blonde and shone under the light of the bar signs. He was impeccably perfect, I couldn?t believe he was talking to me.
?H-hi,? I stuttered.
He smiled slightly, the most amazing smile I had ever seen. ?Come here often??
I couldn?t help but let out a chuckle, ?That?s what you?re going with??
He chuckled back and it was like a million butterflies fluttered in my stomach. I had never felt this way so soon after meeting someone. What was happening?
?It?s been a while since I hit on someone,? he said, smiling that amazing smile once more.
He looked around the crowded bar a moment, ?Do you want to get out of this **** hole? I know a little diner down the road we could go to.?
?Are you talking about Silver Dime Diner??
?Yeah.?
I chuckled slightly, ?you know that closed last year??
He rubbed his neck sheepishly, ?****. Sorry, I just got back into town after a while away.?
?No worries. We could go to Taco Marvin?s instead??
He chuckled, ?that sounds good. Can I get your name first??
I blushed a deep shade of red, ?Oh.. yeah, it?s Shelby.?
He smiled again, ?Nice to meet you, Shelby. I?m Ryan. Ryan Morris.?
I smiled slightly and slid off my barstool, grabbing my purse as I followed him outside. The restaurant was down the street a block, so I suggested we walk. I wasn?t dumb enough to get in a car with some guy I?d just met.
Ryan agreed and we walked down to Taco Marvin?s. And there we sat for hours, just talking about everything and anything. I felt like we could never run out of things to talk about. I enjoyed myself so much. We sat there and talked until nearly 4 am when the sun was just starting to rise.
?Well, I should really be going,? he said, softly, standing up from our booth.
I hadn?t even realized how long it had been. I stood up as well, my knees cracking as I finally stretched my legs. ?Wow, I didn?t realize how late it was..?
He chuckled slightly, ?Can I see you again tomorrow night??
I blushed again, looking down at my feet, ?Yeah, I?d like that.?
Ryan smiled, ?Great, what?s your address? I?ll pick you up.?
?Can I text you??
?Oh, I don?t have a phone.?
I was surprised at this, ?You don?t have a phone? This is 2019. What?s wrong with you??
He chuckled again, ?I don?t really have anyone that I need to talk to.?
My smile faded slightly, ?Yeah, me either..?
?Well, hopefully we do now.?
My smile quickly grew wider and I nodded, ?Okay, let me write it down.?
I grabbed a napkin and wrote down my address. I handed it to him gently, ?I?ll see you tomorrow then??
?Definitely,? he said, taking the napkin and pushing it into his pocket.
I smiled once more at him before I headed out the door and back towards the bar where my car was. I thought it was strange when I got to the parking lot and found my car was the only one there. How had Ryan gotten to the bar last night? And how would he get home?
I turned to see if he was walking, but he was nowhere in sight. I figured he ordered uber or something at the restaurant and headed home. Our next day was just as amazing as the first. And so was the one after that. And the one after that.
Before I knew it, Ryan and I had been dating for 3 months. I invited him to spend the night for the first time last month, but he objected. ?Let?s not rush this,? he said. I was content with that answer for now. However, he agreed to start staying the night about 2 weeks ago. He has stayed pretty much every night.
Something is strange, though. I have never heard anything about Ryan?s job, yet he got up and left at 5 am every morning. Perhaps that?s where he was going. I decided to ask him.
?Where do you go in the mornings?? I asked as he laid in bed beside me.
He looked over at me, ?Oh, just to run errands.?
?At 5 am?? I laughed slightly.
?Yeah, that?s the best time to do them..? he said, trailing off. He looked away and it seemed like he didn?t want to talk about it anymore.
As the days went on, I got more and more suspicious. He had no phone, somehow has transportation though I?d never seen his car, only came at night. The last straw came on Monday when Ryan was getting ready to leave, something fell from his pants pocket. A wedding band.
I spent the whole day bawling my eyes out. When Ryan showed up to spend the night that day, I was ready to rip his head off.
He came in the door and immediately knew something was wrong, ?have you been crying??
I threw the wedding band at him, ?you?re married!?
He picked up his wedding band and sighed softly. ?I was married.?
I crossed my arms, ?And now??
Ryan looked at me sympathetically, ?my wife passed away in a car accident a few years ago.?
Great, now I felt like a complete *******.
?Oh, I?m so sorry. I shouldn?t have jumped to conclusions like that..?
?I go to her grave each morning when I leave.?
I took a deep breath, ?Oh.?
I looked back up at him to search for any signs of anger. But there was none.
?It?s okay,? he said with a smile, ?you didn?t know.?
I nodded, giving him a big hug, apologizing once again.
I pulled away to look up at him, ?do you think I could come with you to her grave??
He quickly shook his head, ?No. I?m not ready for that.?
I accepted that answer. A few days later, we were sitting in a movie when he looked over at me, ?You look a lot like your mom.?
I looked over, ?what??
?I know your mom. You look like her.?
?You mean you knew her?? I asked, a bit confused.
?Yes. Knew. I know she passed away last year.?
I nodded as some tears pricked at my eyes, threatening to fall, ?yeah, I miss her.?
?I?m sorry, I shouldn?t have brought it up.? He said softly, ?she misses you too.?
I nodded and leaned against him to watch the movie. My mom had never mentioned knowing anyone named Ryan.
The next day, I received a text from an unknown phone number. What it said chilled me to the core: There?s something you should know about Ryan. Go to 234 cemetery road. His wife?s name was Anna. Find her grave.
I immediately drove to the cemetery and began looking around at the seemingly endless amount of headstones. I finally found his wife?s tombstone after an hour of searching. It looked how you?d expect a head stone to look. Name, date, small inscription. What I didn?t expect on it was Ryan?s name right beside hers. Along with a matching death date.
My phone dinged again as I got a new message from the unknown number: Ghosts do have phones, by the way. I hope he can make you happy. Love you, Shelbycakes.
Shelbycakes.. the nickname I?d been given by one person and one person only. My mother.
Source.
I have struggled with finding love for as long as I can remember. At 34 years old, I was decidedly ready to become a crazy cat lady and accept the fact that I would never find the one for me. I had jumped from relationship to relationship my entire 20s, desperate to find someone who makes me feel special. All I found were liars, cheaters, and creeps.
Things got even harder when my mother passed away last year. My dad had never been in the picture and I?m an only child, so I was losing the only family I had. She was diagnosed with cancer only a few months earlier, we never expected her to go so fast.
Losing my mom just made me feel even more alone than I already did. I had no support system to deal with her grief. I didn?t know how I would ever get through it. I just wanted to die as well, at least then I had the chance to be with her again, if an afterlife truly did exist.
I bumped into Ryan a few months ago. I was at a bar, drinking alone as I always did on Friday night. I glanced across the room and his eyes caught mine. He too was alone, but maybe it wouldn?t be that way for long.
I was not good at flirting because it had been so long. I hadn?t been on a real date in over 5 years. As I was arguing with myself over whether I should approach him, a deep voice brought me back to reality.
?Hello,? the voice said slowly and smoothly.
I was ripped from the trance I was in and looked up to see the man standing in front of me. Up close, he was even more attractive than before. He had these dark blue eyes that reminded me of two deep lakes. His hair was dirty blonde and shone under the light of the bar signs. He was impeccably perfect, I couldn?t believe he was talking to me.
?H-hi,? I stuttered.
He smiled slightly, the most amazing smile I had ever seen. ?Come here often??
I couldn?t help but let out a chuckle, ?That?s what you?re going with??
He chuckled back and it was like a million butterflies fluttered in my stomach. I had never felt this way so soon after meeting someone. What was happening?
?It?s been a while since I hit on someone,? he said, smiling that amazing smile once more.
He looked around the crowded bar a moment, ?Do you want to get out of this **** hole? I know a little diner down the road we could go to.?
?Are you talking about Silver Dime Diner??
?Yeah.?
I chuckled slightly, ?you know that closed last year??
He rubbed his neck sheepishly, ?****. Sorry, I just got back into town after a while away.?
?No worries. We could go to Taco Marvin?s instead??
He chuckled, ?that sounds good. Can I get your name first??
I blushed a deep shade of red, ?Oh.. yeah, it?s Shelby.?
He smiled again, ?Nice to meet you, Shelby. I?m Ryan. Ryan Morris.?
I smiled slightly and slid off my barstool, grabbing my purse as I followed him outside. The restaurant was down the street a block, so I suggested we walk. I wasn?t dumb enough to get in a car with some guy I?d just met.
Ryan agreed and we walked down to Taco Marvin?s. And there we sat for hours, just talking about everything and anything. I felt like we could never run out of things to talk about. I enjoyed myself so much. We sat there and talked until nearly 4 am when the sun was just starting to rise.
?Well, I should really be going,? he said, softly, standing up from our booth.
I hadn?t even realized how long it had been. I stood up as well, my knees cracking as I finally stretched my legs. ?Wow, I didn?t realize how late it was..?
He chuckled slightly, ?Can I see you again tomorrow night??
I blushed again, looking down at my feet, ?Yeah, I?d like that.?
Ryan smiled, ?Great, what?s your address? I?ll pick you up.?
?Can I text you??
?Oh, I don?t have a phone.?
I was surprised at this, ?You don?t have a phone? This is 2019. What?s wrong with you??
He chuckled again, ?I don?t really have anyone that I need to talk to.?
My smile faded slightly, ?Yeah, me either..?
?Well, hopefully we do now.?
My smile quickly grew wider and I nodded, ?Okay, let me write it down.?
I grabbed a napkin and wrote down my address. I handed it to him gently, ?I?ll see you tomorrow then??
?Definitely,? he said, taking the napkin and pushing it into his pocket.
I smiled once more at him before I headed out the door and back towards the bar where my car was. I thought it was strange when I got to the parking lot and found my car was the only one there. How had Ryan gotten to the bar last night? And how would he get home?
I turned to see if he was walking, but he was nowhere in sight. I figured he ordered uber or something at the restaurant and headed home. Our next day was just as amazing as the first. And so was the one after that. And the one after that.
Before I knew it, Ryan and I had been dating for 3 months. I invited him to spend the night for the first time last month, but he objected. ?Let?s not rush this,? he said. I was content with that answer for now. However, he agreed to start staying the night about 2 weeks ago. He has stayed pretty much every night.
Something is strange, though. I have never heard anything about Ryan?s job, yet he got up and left at 5 am every morning. Perhaps that?s where he was going. I decided to ask him.
?Where do you go in the mornings?? I asked as he laid in bed beside me.
He looked over at me, ?Oh, just to run errands.?
?At 5 am?? I laughed slightly.
?Yeah, that?s the best time to do them..? he said, trailing off. He looked away and it seemed like he didn?t want to talk about it anymore.
As the days went on, I got more and more suspicious. He had no phone, somehow has transportation though I?d never seen his car, only came at night. The last straw came on Monday when Ryan was getting ready to leave, something fell from his pants pocket. A wedding band.
I spent the whole day bawling my eyes out. When Ryan showed up to spend the night that day, I was ready to rip his head off.
He came in the door and immediately knew something was wrong, ?have you been crying??
I threw the wedding band at him, ?you?re married!?
He picked up his wedding band and sighed softly. ?I was married.?
I crossed my arms, ?And now??
Ryan looked at me sympathetically, ?my wife passed away in a car accident a few years ago.?
Great, now I felt like a complete *******.
?Oh, I?m so sorry. I shouldn?t have jumped to conclusions like that..?
?I go to her grave each morning when I leave.?
I took a deep breath, ?Oh.?
I looked back up at him to search for any signs of anger. But there was none.
?It?s okay,? he said with a smile, ?you didn?t know.?
I nodded, giving him a big hug, apologizing once again.
I pulled away to look up at him, ?do you think I could come with you to her grave??
He quickly shook his head, ?No. I?m not ready for that.?
I accepted that answer. A few days later, we were sitting in a movie when he looked over at me, ?You look a lot like your mom.?
I looked over, ?what??
?I know your mom. You look like her.?
?You mean you knew her?? I asked, a bit confused.
?Yes. Knew. I know she passed away last year.?
I nodded as some tears pricked at my eyes, threatening to fall, ?yeah, I miss her.?
?I?m sorry, I shouldn?t have brought it up.? He said softly, ?she misses you too.?
I nodded and leaned against him to watch the movie. My mom had never mentioned knowing anyone named Ryan.
The next day, I received a text from an unknown phone number. What it said chilled me to the core: There?s something you should know about Ryan. Go to 234 cemetery road. His wife?s name was Anna. Find her grave.
I immediately drove to the cemetery and began looking around at the seemingly endless amount of headstones. I finally found his wife?s tombstone after an hour of searching. It looked how you?d expect a head stone to look. Name, date, small inscription. What I didn?t expect on it was Ryan?s name right beside hers. Along with a matching death date.
My phone dinged again as I got a new message from the unknown number: Ghosts do have phones, by the way. I hope he can make you happy. Love you, Shelbycakes.
Shelbycakes.. the nickname I?d been given by one person and one person only. My mother.
Source.
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