All Forums >> Love Corner >> Relationship Issues

My (36M) girlfriend (32F) of 6 months is extremely negative almost all the time and it?s starting to (by Sparky)

 Sparky (0)  (29 / M-F / Massachusetts)
18-Sep-19 5:30 pm
My (36M) girlfriend (32F) of 6 months is extremely negative almost all the time and it?s starting to exhaust me emotionally

When we started out everything was great, we had a lot in common and had a lot of the same values. Well she had a lot of bad luck before we met with work and health problems. Her problems are definitely legitimate and I really care about her so I try and listen. But here?s the thing: she does not stop talking about how ****ty everything and everyone is. It is constant. And we are both pretty liberal and I consider myself an ally when it comes to feminist issues, but she does not stop talking about patriarchy and how horrible it is to be a woman. I really feel like I am sympathetic and sensitive to her complaints. Nothing she says is untrue, but it is seriously constant, like as soon as she gets off work, until we go to bed, and literally the other night we both kind of randomly woke up in the middle of the night, and she just picked back up where we left off earlier that night. After we finally went to sleep and woke up the next morning, the first thing out of her mouth wasn?t good morning or ?hi?, it was about toxic masculinity. Like I?m all for criticizing toxic masculinity but **** me my brain is not ready to start thinking about that right when I wake up.

Am I being insensitive? I know it has to frustrating to be a woman and deal with fear of harassment and assault all the time, being objectified, and overlooked for jobs, and that?s why I listen and agree with everything she says, but I just can?t match her outrage level all the time and this, along with her complaints about how terrible her job is, her health problems, and how she doesn?t have any good friends, like I don?t know how to respond anymore. It?s to the point where I?m afraid to ask her how her day was or how she slept because her answer is inevitably going to be an endless rant.

I briefly mentioned therapy recently because I know her problems are bigger than I can help with, but she says she?s tried it several times and it doesn?t work for her. Moreover, she is very critical, especially of anything having to do with pop culture and it makes me so afraid to share things I enjoy with her because I don?t want to feel stupid about liking something. She is extremely smart (I suspect genius) so anytime I try and offer a solution, or try to defend things, or suggest alternative ways of thinking or doing things she is so good at giving convincing arguments for why I?m wrong and why the way she?s sees things is correct. She reads a lot and makes compelling and sound arguments for why she sees things the way she does that I just don't have a good response to. There?s a lot of good in our relationship, it?s just the negativity and hypercritical attitude are really exhausting me emotionally and I don?t know what to do. My anxiety that had been long gone has come back. She?s planning to move in with me in another town soon and has already ended her lease and put in her two weeks, so I can?t just end things without leaving her high and dry and just adding to the ****ty things that have happened to her. How can I help her? How can I help myself? Am I a bad person for feeling this way about her legitimate problems?

--- **TL;DR;** : Girlfriend's constant negativity is wearing me down, even though she is justified about being negative. I don't know how to help her and I don't know how to deal with it anymore.


Source.

 

 

 
 
Quick reply:

[Smilies]

RULES:
  • Be respectful at all times.
  • Be mature and act like an adult.
  • Respect different points of view.
  • Discuss ideas, not specific users.
  • Don't get personal.
  • No profanity.
  • No drama.
  • No thread hijacking.
  • No trolling.
  • No spamming.
  • No soliciting.
  • No duplicate posting.
  • No posting in the wrong section.
  • No posting of contact information.
  • Be welcoming to new users.
Repeated violations of the above will result in increasing temporary bans from the forum and an eventual permanent ban from the site. Basically, just be friendly and neighborly and all will be well.
Similar threads:
Top
Home
Give us feedback!

Login:

* Username:

* Password:

 Remember me


Forgot?