Wife [25f] seems to feel like she's the only one allowed to have a rough day at work, and it is kinda getting on my [28m] nerves.

I met Amber six years ago in Afghanistan, we've been married about 41/2 years now.
Our relationship is mostly fine, but I'm getting annoyed that she seems to feel like she is the only one who has bad days at work and can come home and complain about it.
Don't get me wrong, Amber's job is stressful as ****. She's a helicopter mechanic, so she has long hours, lots of labor intensive tasks, she's responsible for people underneath her, and I totally get that some days are gonna completely suck and she needs to come home and vent about it.
On those days she comes home and vents about her people, her job, her hours, whatever, I try to listen and let her get it out of her system or go rest or whatever.
That is all completely fine.
But my job is also stressful as ****. I'm a wheeled vehicle mechanic, I also work long hours with alot of muscle power, I'm reponsible for people, so I have alot of days that suck too.
But when I get home and want to vent she just brushes it all off. If I complain about some pain in the ass job that day shell tell me "Well I had to do [whatever] today!"
And she always talks about how exhausted she is at the end of the day because she "Had to pull the engine out of a Blackhawk" that day (or something) and needs to rest, so I'm left with figuring out dinner or cleaning the house. And I don't want to start going *** for tat, but I'm like "Y'know, I had to go pull a wrecked cargo truck out of the mud today, so I'm pretty ****ing tired too."
I don't mind taking care of stuff so she can chill after a rough day sometimes, but when I get back after a bad day and just want to take it easy, she'll be at the bedroom door every ten minutes because she needs me to go take care of this or that, or run to the store, or help with dinner.
Most of the time she is fine and helps around the house and all. But she has her bad days sometimes and I go out of my way to let her decompress and chill, but if I have a bad day I'm supposed to get over it, and her whole attitude is "Well toughen up buttercup".
And I mentioned this little double standard once and she told me a bad day is worse for her because "At least your trucks don't fall out of the sky if you mess up" and I was so frustrated with that statement I had to walk away for a few minutes.
I don't want to burn the marriage down, but this is seriously annoying me and I want to fix it. How can I address this stuff? I don't mind helping her out, but I really need some reciprocation now and then.
TL;DR Wife has a bad day at work and I try to help her destress and feel better. I have a bad day and she expect me to get over it. It drives me nuts. Help?


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