My (37F) friend (43F) freaked out on me after I asked her to stop talking about her celebrity crush so much.

Throwaway, some details changed for anonymity. This is a ridiculous situation and I’m hoping some of you can provide me with perspective that I may be missing.
I’ve been friends with Stella for almost 15 years. I dated her younger brother first, then met her. He passed away a decade ago and she has struggled a lot with this but has never sought out any help. She was always the fun, goofy, airheaded, friend that never took anything seriously. She has been obsessed with celebrities & pop culture since birth. She idolizes Drew Barrymore & has tried to copy her life & look for years now. She cares a lot about material things and upholding the image she has of herself. For example, her car is falling apart to the point she’s embarrassed to be seen in it, but instead of getting a new one she just bought herself a pair of Gucci slippers (that she thinks is ugly) bc she recently saw one of her favorite celebrities wearing them. That’s just Stella.
A few years ago, Stella discovered a very popular British boy band. Overnight she became completely obsessed. Everything revolved around this band. We all laughed at first bc she was never the boy band kind of gal; she was always too ‘hip’ for that. During their final tour, her husband managed to get them tickets one state away. After the show they waited around outside the tour bus for hours and the band never showed. Stella had a breakdown and cried all night bc she didn’t get a chance to see her favorite member of the band after the show. She cried during the entire 5-hour drive home and immediately went online and bought a ticket (just for her, not her husband) to their next show 2 states south, got back in her car & drove 13 hours by herself to their next show.
After the band broke up & her favorite member went solo, everything then began to revolve around him. She has spent thousands of dollars going around the country to see his shows. She has spent thousands of dollars on merchandise & decorated her entire house with memorabilia, including a life-sized cardboard cutout of him she keeps in the living room. She has even brought the cutout to dinner with friends & brought him to her birthday party. She thinks it’s ‘tee hee so quirky!’ Her party’s hashtags were all #30flirtyandthriving. She’s 43. A few people tried to talk to her about her behavior & she cut them off bc she thought they were implying they’re ‘too cool’ for her. And the age thing? Everyone was like WTF? Honestly, at our age, no one cares about stuff like that anymore. It’s the obsession that’s worrying people & the fact she’s living in a fantasy world now. It’s gotten to the point that her whole life revolves around this celebrity and she cannot have a conversation with anyone without the conversation being turned back to this celebrity. She talks about him like they’re really friends. People avoid her. She made friends with a 22 y/o she works with & now spends every free moment out drinking with this girl. She also befriended a mutual friend’s 20 y/o niece & has invited her (& paid) to go to these shows bc no one else will. Mutual friend does not like this & thinks it’s weird but has only told her to be careful with his niece and not get her in trouble.
Recently, this behavior began to wear on me. Not just this, but the way she talks about crush & other celebrity crushes. She’s always had to have someone to crush on, usually her little brother’s friends. She has been sending me non-stop social media pictures, songs, memes, whatever about this guy and her crushes. The thing is though, these are all reallllyyyy young guys, or they look young. She jokes about herself being a pedophile and how her crushes look 12 or 14. She recently told me she was bored with her husband and was thinking about 'finding a young hottie to make out with'. She went on Tinder &set her age preference 18-24 and told her husband. He got mad and made her delete it but she’s on it again and he doesn’t know. I gently tried to tell her I thought it was weird and made me uncomfortable, (esp to have pics on my phone from her of a kid that looks like he hasn’t gone through puberty saying yeah, I’m a pedo & he looks 12 but he’s a yummy 12!) but she just laughed. I started ignoring the messages bc I didn’t know what to say. I am NOT a fan of this person at all. I am almost 40 & having constant conversations about this guy just weirds me out. She noticed I stopped responding to her and asked me what was wrong, so I told her that I felt unheard when we talked bc every conversation we have is about this celebrity and she ignores a lot of what I say to keep talking about him and ‘it’s a bit much sometimes’. Big mistake.
Stella responded by weaponizing everything I had told her in confidence over the last year against me. I lost my father and grandfather last year & told her I was struggling & lonely and that it sucks being an adult without the friendships I had when I was younger bc we all grew apart. I also know I haven’t been the best friend bc of my grief. She threw all of that in my face and basically threatened me not to make her mad bc she’s one of my only friends. She called me overly sensitive and accused me of overreacting. I was so shocked. Her messages to me were straight up hateful and extremely disproportionate to what I said. I was so hurt that she would respond like this. I’ve never seen that side of her before. She cut me out of her life and said that I am too quick to cut people out of my life and I would regret it. I never said anything about cutting anyone out of my life.
It’s been a few weeks since and she’s started trying to reach out a little and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to throw away such a long friendship, but I think it’s broken at this point. I don’t feel what I said was wrong. A mutual friend of ours told me I should have just kept quiet and let her talk about her fake boyfriend because it makes her happy and ‘we all know how she is’. Another just laughed like yeah that’s Stella. She’ll get over it. Get over what? I feel like she flipped out bc I was so close to saying something to her about the age of this guy, and her other crushes, and she attacked before I could get the chance. I don’t think she’s a pedophile. But. There is something there that in my gut I know is wrong. I just don’t know how to put it in words, or even if I should bring it up.
So, Dating.mobi, this is a ridiculous fight, but I want to know if anyone is seeing the red flags I’m seeing. Is it a stupid fight bc I hurt her feelings or is there something else causing her to lash out? I honestly can’t tell. Sorry this is a mess but I can provide any other details if needed. I’m just weirded out.
TL:DR My girl friend’s acting like a pedo, I gently called her out, she freaked.


Source.