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I (32F) think that my friend (30F) has a crush on my husband (32F) despite her telling me she doesn’ (by Sparky)

 Sparky (0)  (29 / M-F / Massachusetts)
30-Mar-19 2:12 am
I (32F) think that my friend (30F) has a crush on my husband (32F) despite her telling me she doesn’t. What happened at my birthday party last night feels as if it’s gone too far?

I have a friend, let’s called her Lola. We’ve been best friends since we were 16 and are now both into our 30’s. This past year, she’s been exhibiting behaviour that is causing me to rethink the friendship.
So to skip all the fluff, last night three of my friends came over to celebrate my birthday. We watched a movie on the couch because I was recently in a car accident and am on bed rest. While my husband, Steve, and my other two friends were in the smoking room, Lola comes up to me in the living room and says, “Hey, do I have your permission to ask Steve to follow me to “friend’s†house in his car?â€
Me: “You don’t need my permission to ask him but I already know the answer and he’ll say no. He’s really tired. So just leave him be. Why do you want him to follow you, your tire will make it.â€
Lola: “Yeah but are you ok with me asking?â€
Continuous back and forth about me asking “why?†and her saying “are you ok with it?â€
Me, getting frustrated: â€Lola, your tire is fine. You’ll make it. Besides, he’ll say no. He just spent all day at school, went to the gym, then he took care of the kids and still has to put them to bed and then do his homework. He’s really tired and he’s going to say no.â€
Lola: “I know all that but still. Are you ok with it?â€
Me: “Ok with what?!â€
Lola: “Me asking Steve to follow me.â€
Me, frustrated: “Why do you need my permission?!â€
Lola: “To see if you’re ok with it.â€
Me, very frustrated at this point,: “I don’t care if you ask him but he’s going to say no! He’s tired and would rather be at home with his family. And I don’t know why you’re asking because even though I’m telling you that he will say no and why he’ll say no, but let me guess, you’re going to go in that room and ask anyway. Right? Lola, why would he want to leave his family to take you home?â€
Lola: “Because he cares about me and wants to make sure I get there safely.â€
Me: “I think he would rather be home helping his injured wife on her birthday than following you “friend’s†place. You know what, Lola... Whatever! Go ask him but he’s going to say no. Why even bother asking?!â€
Lola, biggest smile on her face: “He won’t! He cares about me.â€
She goes straight into the room and in front of everyone goes, “Steeeeeevvvee would you follow me in your car?â€
My husband, who is a comedian at heart, answered the nicest way, but I could tell he surprised/annoyed, “Follow you? Why?†When she tells him about her tire, he says, “Lola, your tire is fine. I’m really tired and you know that. I had a long day and still have homework.†Everyone in the room agreed that the tire is fine told her to calm down when she got a bit upset, “But don’t you want to see me home safe?†Steve: “Lisa needs my help. You’re fine.â€
She left. Was gone for two hours then came back and stayed quiet until Steve came down around 10pm to finish the movie with us. That’s when she perked up and started talking again.
That was last night and I would have brushed it off but then add the comments like, “Yeah, Steve’s hot. I’d do him.†Always asking if her clothes are appropriate to wear in front of him... but then goes and wears the lowest cut top ever. When she came over and did mushrooms, she only wanted him to help her and when he was gone because he was sick of her hanging off him, kept asking where he was and when he was coming back. Then she’s sent me a nude and an explicit video of her and said, “Don’t show Steve!†Like, why the hell would I show him in the first place?!
And her track record for dating married men is... well, it has me worried as she says it’s ok if the relationship isn’t doing well... anyway, I had a conversation with her just this week about the things she says regarding Steve makes me uncomfortable. Then this happened last night. She’s a family friend and considered another daughter to my family... so I don’t know what to do.
Am I reading into things? Lola says I am. Steve says that she is just weird but has no boundaries. But I think she likes him... and I want to cut contact but can’t due to seeing her at family functions. Can’t talk to our friend group. Can’t really talk to my parents because they don’t think she likes him but they agree she has issues and needs therapy.
Ugh... I just don’t know what to do.
TD;LR: best friend went and asked my husband, after I told her not to, to follow her in her car to another city during my birthday party. He said no. She was a bit upset. She’s also made comments about how he’s so hot she’d do him. Am I overreacting by thinking she has a crush and it’s too far... therefore not inviting her to visit again because it makes me uncomfortable when she’s around him? Already talked to her before birthday incident happened and she thinks I am because “he’s my brother!â€


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