How Dare You!

How Dare You!
July 2nd.
Not sure what made me think of you today, but I did. It’s been a while since we broke up...Well, since I broke up with you. You wanted to be with me, but it was too much for me. I remember you cried a little when we broke up. Why didn’t you cry more? The other women I broke up with cried a lot. Maybe something is wrong with you. Why am I even thinking about you? What made me think of you after almost 13 months… Has it really been that long? You weren’t really that important to me. Why am I even thinking of you? You are insignificant.
July 3rd.
For some reason, I am thinking of you again. It’s 3am and have no idea why. You weren’t that important. I need to sleep...Why am I thinking of you? I don’t like clingy women, really. Truth be told, you weren’t very clingy, nowhere near as much as the others, but still, I broke up with you because you were starting to have feelings for me. I hate that co-dependent attitude. Why are women so needy?
July 10th.
I remember quite a bit about you. All this is coming back to me. Your dark hair and how it smelled like a mix of vanilla and fresh flowers. I could never decide which one. Your dark eyes. I liked looking into them when I was inside of you. I liked looking into them when I broke up with you. A sad mix of hope and sadness. Same look when I was inside of you. Hope and sadness. You only had one look.
July 11th
No, I am wrong. Your look was not of hope and sadness. Your look was a look of longing. That’s it, you were longing for me! All the time. When we went out for dinner, when we hung out and watched movies, when we had sex, even when I was breaking up with you. Longing.. You wanted me in a hopeful sad way. Just like they all did. Women are so predictable and so easy to please. A few nice words, an expensive dinner, keeping my eyes locked on you and making you feel so special, telling you you are different than the other women, you are better than them.. It’s so easy to get a woman. Of course my wealth helps too, you ladies love money. Money gets you all hot! Oh you are all so predictable! And easy to manipulate!
July 12th
This is the 4th night in a row I wake up thinking of you. Maybe I was wrong to break up with you and let you go. You are different than the rest. What’s different about you.. I can’t quite place it. It’s there, on the tip of my tongue, yet it escapes me. Something about you…
July 12th later in the day
I figured it out! I figured out what is different about you. You called me only once after we broke up. The others were calling me for months! And you didn’t beg like they did. You just called to say Thank You. You were so nice, not like the rest. The rest were all *******. Cheap dirty *******. Begging, wanting, needing… “Take me back please†and “I love you, I will do whatever you wantâ€... Disgusting. No dignity. Low women. They were not worth of my time. But not you.. You didn’t beg. You were polite and controlled when you called me. You simply wanted to ask something… What was it? It’s been over an year… What was it that you asked me?
July 14.
Yes, I remember now… You called to ask me if you did something wrong and why I broke up with out out of the blue as you put it. No, no, no.. I didn’t break up with you out of the blue, you are mistaken. I think these things through! I am very thoughtful and fair. I am a good man. No… I am a great man. You were lucky to have been with me. I treated you well. I treat all women well.
July 16
You asked what you did wrong… I didn’t want to get into it then so I didn’t tell you the truth. I told you you did nothing wrong, that I didn’t have feelings for you. You cried a little. The rest cried way more. You really need to be more feminine. You should have cried more. I am a great man, you weren’t sorry enough that we were breaking up. That has always bothered me about you. I suppressed it and I tried to move on, but truth be told, I really feel you should have been more sorry. I gave you all the best things. I was a great boyfriend!
July 17th
Something must be wrong with you that you didn’t cry when we broke up. You are different. That’s why I keep thinking about you. You are very different. And you never called me again. Why is that? I am a great man. Something must be wrong with you that you never cared to call me again? You must be heartless, that’s it. You were heartless when we were together too. Oh that look in your eyes. No feelings. When I was inside of you, you would look at me straight in the eyes, not even smile. What sort of woman does that? Once you even told me you love me! Liar! No, you are heartless, you don’t know how to love. That’s why I broke up with you.
July 18th
I drove by your house today. I didn’t plan to do so, but I was in the neighborhood. You live 20 minutes from my house, but there is a Starbucks near you house I like to go to, the coffee is the best there, much better than the other Starbucks places. So I was in the neighborhood and I drove by. To see your house again. You’ve changed your front yard. Looks nice.
July 19th
I drove by your house again today. Your car was in the driveway. It was freshly washed. You never used to wash the car before. Must be some special occasion.
July 20th
I drove by your house again today and saw the clean car again. I am starting to think this might not be your car. It’s the same make and color but then again there are many white Hondas around. You used to have a sticker on the bumper if I recall.. Some weird slogan about women power. So stupid. I hated that sticker. How embarrassing to be driving around with some stupid sticker saying a stupid sentence that only stupid people will understand. What did it say? … Women something… well behaved something...Oh yes! “No well behaved woman ever made historyâ€. So stupid! Well behaved women are exactly the ones that should be remembered by history! Disobedient women are menace to society! Such a stupid sticker!
July 21st
This means the car in your driveway is NOT your car. Unless you removed the sticker. But why would you? You loved that sticker! Your best friend gave it to you and she too stuck one on her own car. Two stupid women driving around with stupid stickers….This can’t be your car. That’s why I’m parked across your house and some hundred feet down and waiting. I got off work early to make it here before you come home so I can see whether you finally wised up and took off that sticker. With my own eyes I want to see the truth.
July 22nd
I am so ******. So so so mad! I was right, it wasn’t your car. Who is that man? Who is that ******* that is at your house 3 nights in a row!!!
July 23rd
You are such a bitch! A *****! Disloyal stupid *****! You allowed a man to come to your house till 1 am! Who is this *******? He is disgusting! You are disgusting! How dare you sleep with another man! I knew you were heartless. It explains why you didn’t cry much when we broke up. How dare you move on!
July 24th
I didn’t go to work today. I couldn’t. It hurts. Frankly it hurts to see you with another man. I am in pain! You put me in pain. Bitch!… when I saw you kiss him goodbye at the door I remembered what your mouth tasted like. You didn’t look at him like you used to look at me. There was love in your eyes when you looked at him. But no… none for me! When you used to look at me, all I saw was contempt. You bitch!
July 25th
I can’t take this anymore! I can’t take this insult. You are insulting me with every minute that goes by! Slapping me in the face! Laughing at me behind my back with your new fresh clean-car boyfriend! Again he is at your house. Kissy, kissy, lovey, lovey. Disgusting. Are you ever alone? You are so needy! You always need him! So clingy! I hate clingy women. Heartless bitch!
July 26th
Finally, some relief! Today was a great day. I am so relieved. I noticed this morning you rushed to work and forgot to lock your door. It was so smart of me to watch you leave. I just had a good feeling about it, that’s why I stayed in my car all night in front of your house. I know you like the back of my hand. I know you are sloppy. And you didn’t even notice I used a black marker on your stupid sticker. Now it says the truth: “Well behaved women make historyâ€. That’s the right way to live. Not to be a heartless bitch but to obey.
And I made you obey didn’t I? You were so surprised when you got home! The look in your eyes! Priceless! It took you a minute to realize I was there. You were in a hurry ha? You went straight for the shower to clean yourself off and get yourself ready for him!… Running late were you? He was on his way, wasn't he? It sucks I had to be fast, but I couldn't risk being seen at your house. Why would a great man like me be with a woman like you?
Oh you cried a lot this time, it felt so good! I wish I had more time! It was so nice of me to let you cry, since you barely shed a tear when we broke up. But I let you cry for 5 whole minutes today! I’m such a great guy, I let you correct all of your mistakes at the end! You begged, you cried, it was perfect!… I fixed you in the end, you are no longer heartless!
You were so beautiful when you were dying. So pure. So good. All thanks to me.


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