After 13 years, I (34M) have had it with my wife's (34F) laziness.

She doesn't have a job and doesn't care to look for one. I don't think she's worked since before we got married. We have two kids ages 4 and 6, but she's not a stay at home mom. She's just a stay at home facebooker, binge eater, and sleeper.
I work 9 hour days with only Sunday off. Money is tight but we make it work. Of course, her getting a job would help tremendously. Even her actually being a parent with all her free time would help me out. At least 90% of the child care, housework, and errands falls to me. I love my kids of course and have no belief that caring for them is a woman's job or anything. It's just the fact of the matter is I'm often exhausted when I get home. Then I make dinner, help with homework, bathe the kids, do their bedtime routine, and clean up the kitchen while my wife has been home all day and done nothing but surf the internet. Each morning I also make sure they're up and dressed on time, make them breakfast, ensure they have everything for school, and see the 6 year old onto the bus and drop off the 4 year old at preschool on my way to work.
No matter how much I clean and try to keep things organized, I can't stay on top of the mess. Even if I spend a Sunday doing every chore you can think of around the house, by the end of the week it's back to looking like a tornado blew through it. It's not just normal "kid mess" either, that's actually the smaller part. Most of it is piles of dirty dishes, trash from my wife's constant snacking on junk food, stains, spills, crumbs, and dirty laundry. It's been taking a toll on my mental health because I don't feel fully comfortable in my own home. Even our bed constantly has crumbs and candy wrappers in it. I can't relax watching tv with a mountain of her unwashed clothes next to me.
Her typical day looks like this: Wake up at 10am or later. The kids and I get up around 7, she's still sleeping when I get to work at 9. Go on her computer in bed until it's time to pick up 4yo from preschool, which is 12:30, but she's usually late because she can't get offline in time. Get home, throw something in the microwave for 4yo's lunch. Back online until I come home at 7. Then she eats whatever I made for dinner (or ordered, on the bad days). As I'm doing things the kids need after dinner she hardly ever offers help. Instead is on the computer or her phone, arguing on facebook and chatting with internet friends. Goes to bed long after me (I go around 10 or 11, she comes in way past midnight).
She resents having to pick up 4yo too because she's "still tired" by that point in the day. It's literally the only thing she has to do!
What else? The internet use -- I know a lot of it is facebook but it seems very addictive to me. She's obsessed with politically-oriented groups on there and is often involved in some sort of drama. Even during the night her phone is lighting up with notifications. From what she talks about, it sounds like there is a lot of bullying in these groups over very insular ideology even if the group is just for something like sharing dog pictures. I find the entire thing really juvenile if I'm being honest.
As far as I know she's not doing anything like cheating online. I don't know exactly what she does besides facebook. Don't really care either. I wish she would spend more time in real life.
The mess around the house -- I've reminded her of this over and over, it never sticks. Or it gets better for a few days and then slides back to how it was. Her constant snacking is extremely grating too. She's almost always stuffing chips or candy in her face and believe me, after several years of this habit, it shows. On top of that she only bothers to shower a couple times a week. The food and soda spills sometimes have attracted ants by the time I find them. It's nasty, our kids have expressed disgust at it too.
On that last note -- the kids also are starting to pick up on her lazy mentality. My 6yo asked me why so many people go to work, "when they can just stay home like mom." She technically doesn't allow them to have the garbage food she eats but that doesn't stop them from trying to sneak it. If she catches them, she yells at them. If she doesn't, well, who knows how much unhealthy food they're managing to get? I counteract as best I can by cooking healthy balanced meals, which they do eat, and making sure they get plenty of active play time. I'm still very worried about how her careless attitude towards eating and health could influence them. They have me as one role model and then her as the exact opposite.
There's probably a lot I've left out but just writing this out has exhausted me.
Today I vacuumed, scrubbed countertops, did all the laundry including her own, all while she sat on facebook and read angry clickbait articles. I still managed to spend some of the afternoon at the playground with our kids. No, she didn't want to come along. I don't even bother to ask anymore. I know the answer.
What finally pushed me to post for advice is when it dawned on me tonight that I don't think she said a word to either child all day. She's completely absorbed in her own world. It is so abnormal and unfair to them. I can't deal with having this checked-out blob of a person for a wife anymore. My kids must deserve better.
Where the hell do I go from here? I feel like I finally achieved clarity of how bad the situation is, but now I'm facing this massive mountain and don't know what the first step even looks like.
Also, I admit I posted about these issues last year, and nothing has changed since then. The post didn't get much attention but I feel like I should have done more. Well, better late than never I suppose...
TL;DR: My wife is perfectly content to wallow in a lazy lifestyle that includes not working, not putting any effort into the household, ignoring our children, gorging throughout each day on sugary crap and packing on 200+ pounds, addicted to internet drama, makes messes that she doesn't clean up, makes excuses when confronted, and overall leaves me to do her share of almost all the work that being in a marriage and family requires.


Source.