My(f, 29) boyfriend/fiance(m, 37) wants me to help him pay off his large debt once we get married.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years, and plan on getting married this spring. I'm starting to have reservations about it, mostly because of the following situation.
He has had a large debt of about $45,000 for a while now. All of it is high interest personal loans, except a car loan. He actually sold his car to get about 14k back and put some of it towards the loan. His loan is now about $25,000.
The loans are ones he took out to help his mother's floundering business. This woman is pretty horrible, tbh. I don't know if any of it is relevant to this topic, but in the past she has stolen my bfs paychecks and demanded money as reconciliation for "having raised him." She's a very demanding asian mother(relevant for the cultural aspect if it helps anyone understand what she's like better). My bf and I have had a conversation about not taking out 10k of 25% loans to hand over to her, and he mostly agrees. I'm not against small monthly stipends for our aging parents, and I am all for it. I want to help my mother as well. I mostly trust him not to do it again. Mostly.
But the main issue is this: one time, I asked him to postpone the marriage about 3 months so that our honeymoon coincided with my vacation (I'm a teacher) so that I don't have to take time off. He got pretty angry. He said he absolutely have to get married as soon as possible so he can put his financial plan into motion. What financial plan, I asked.
Once we get married, he wants me to give him $1,000 a month to pay off his debt. He wants to pay off the debt within a year. That would end up being a little over half of my monthly income. I guess he wants to get married quicker because he can't ask his gf to fork over that much cash, but his wife would be required to.
I told him that's way too much. I tried to be tactful, and exactly I said, " it's not my debt, I didn't help you make it. It's not really fair to expect me to pay off half of it." I have plans to save my money for things like a house. His response was "When you say it isn't your debt, it feels like we aren't family." I told him 500 a month is more reasonable, and he's guilting me by telling me it's fine he will just have to get a second or third job. I asked him why not try to pay it off in a year and a half so that it's not as much of a difficult time, but he does not like that idea.
I have always been better at saving than him because I'm not bogged down by high interest loans. I have 6k saved from the previous year, and he's got about 1.5k from last year. We have been saving up for our wedding, and I will already have to front most of the cash for it.
I'm starting to wonder if he's actually wanting to marry me, or use me as a cash cow. There have been times where I have bought all our food and necessities because all his money goes to loans. We live together. When I expressed that it was making it difficult for me to save money, he volunteered 200$ a month for me to use for our groceries. He's given it a few times, but sporadically.
My question is, is it normal for married couples to pay off huge pre-relationship loans in this manner? Am I being selfish with my money? What would others do in this situation? If it was a debt we made together, I am all for doing my part. But this debt had nothing to do with me.
Tldr: bf wants me to use half of my pay per month to pay off his high interest loans made prior to us meeting. I don't think it is fair. Who is right?
Edit 1: thanks everyone for your advice. I've read them all. The consensus seems to be that this is a terrible situation. I will try to bring it up with him again, but I suspect he will get angry. When he gets angry there is no discussion, really. Anyway, I will ask him about his exact debts and his exact plan.


Source.