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I [25F] am going to move out from our apartment before my boyfriend[30M] is back from his vacation. (by Sparky)

 Sparky (0)  (29 / M-F / Massachusetts)
13-Aug-18 1:40 pm
I [25F] am going to move out from our apartment before my boyfriend[30M] is back from his vacation.

Hi everyone,
I am a 25 years old engineer. I have a relationship a bit more than a year with my boyfriend, and we are living together for 4 months. He is also an engineer, and I think our interests and hobbies fit perfectly. I love him a lot, and I really want to build a future together with him. He says that he also loves me. But I believe our love definitions are not the same. I feel like he doesn’t want to spend time with me. Couple of months ago I asked him multiple times to play tennis together. He has issues with his wrists and his knees time to time. So he always declined my offer(btw he is going to gym 4 times in a week). But later, I found out he played tennis with his friends and he really liked it and now he wants to play more. He never arranges date to go out for us. I try to plan some dates for us, but when I am doing it I am scared that he is not going to like it. He has always plans for doing something with other people, just not with me. He says he likes to eat dinner and watch tv shows with me. I don’t want to be just that. I want to be more for him. I recently started to notice that whenever we go out he checks out the hot girls around. He never misses one of them. I am a girl who cares about my appearance, I don’t think I am an ugly woman. But why my boyfriend always looks at the other girls around. I am not talking about just one look. He catches eye contact and keep doing it, and at that time If I talk about something, he doesn’t listen me. I feel so disconnected at those times. I am not psychologically doing good when my boyfriend makes me feel invaluable. He says he loves me, but I feel like I am just a nice girl who has a good job in the same field as his. I don’t think he loves me because who I am. I feel sad. :( Our sex life used to be so good, but now I am always the one who initiates the sex. Usually he is tired or not in the mood. Maybe he is not attracted to me anymore. I am loosing my self confidence day by day. We planned a vacation together for a week. We said let’s not decide where to go, we will look for the cheapest plane ticket and we will go there. And then, In couple of days later he said he is going on a vacation with his friend to somewhere far away for a week. I felt like invisible when he said that. He just cancelled our trip, and decided to go on a vacation with someone else. I told him I am not happy what he did and this is going to effect our relationship in a bad way. But it didn’t change the result, he is on vacation now. I want to be with a person that I can discover the world together, doing fun activities together, share my happy sad days together. I want him to be my best friend. He is my best friend. But I am definitely not his best friend..
I am planning to move out from our apartment this week. He is not going to find me when he is back from his vacation. I am just too nervous, wanted to share with you guys.
TL;DR My boyfriend cancelled our vacation plans and went on a vacation with a friend. He doesn’t like to spend time with me in general. I need somebody to tell me “find your wayâ€


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