My husband [27M] thinks that if I [25F] ask him to keep something between us that is asking him to lie.

A few months back something extremely personal happened to me and I of course told my husband (I did not do anything wrong- it was just one of life’s unavoidable misfortunes and I was just embarrassed by it). We agreed to keep it between us and our parents. I didn’t want to tell his parents but he said he didn’t want them worrying about us since I was visibly upset (found out this news right before family thanksgiving) so I agreed. Fast forward to a few days ago and a stranger from our apartment complex, someone whom I know is a neighbor but don’t know their name, approached me and began asking me about the issue we agreed to keep private. I confronted my husband and he swore he only told him because he doesn’t know us and isn’t in our circle. Admittedly I wouldn’t let it go and kept asking him who he had told and he then admitted to telling multiple family and friends but said that it was my fault because I asked him to lie by not telling them (but apparently lying to me was okay). After a huge argument he apologized for lying to me but still insists that asking him to keep things private is asking him to lie. More distressing is that his family seems to share this notion and told me that I was being ridiculous.
I feel betrayed and saddened that my husband will no longer be able to be my confidant because telling him a personal detail is equivalent to announcing it on social media. He has betrayed my trust and told multiple people something I find deeply embarrassing. How do I convince him that simply not telling people all your business is not the same as a lie? I understand the concept of a “lie of omission†but surely there are acceptable boundaries. He says he is an extrovert and keeping secrets is stressful for him and he doesn’t like people to worry. I’d like to know I’m not crazy. Perhaps I’m a horrible person but I wish I had a husband who would lie for me if I asked him to.
We have been together for 7 years. 4 years dating and 3 married- I suppose nothing in this area has come up before because we’re usually an open book.
Tl;dr is keeping things personal between a husband and wife the same thing as lying?


Source.