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My close friend [34F] fancies herself a comedian, but I [29M] don't think she's funny, and now she t (by Sparky)

 Sparky (0)  (29 / M-F / Massachusetts)
1-Jul-18 12:01 am
My close friend [34F] fancies herself a comedian, but I [29M] don't think she's funny, and now she thinks my company should hire her as part of the entertainment for a corporate party

"Angela" and I have been friends for about ten years. She's a bit older than I but we have lots in common. While I think she's quite attractive physically, she's one of those rare women with whom I can share a completely platonic relationship while having no interest in her sexually. I think it's because she reminds me too much of my older sister. Okay TMI not that you asked.
Over the past six years, Angela, who usually works as a buyer for a large clothing brand, has taken up stand-up comedy as a hobby. She's taken improv classes and has done lots of open mic nights. I've always encouraged her to pursue her passions because I want to be a supportive friend, but honestly she isn't funny. I don't really think it's just me, either, because whenever she does open mic night, the reaction she gets is often very unpleasant, at times she is even booed off the stage or heckled so much that she has to end her act early. When she asks me what I think, I tell her that I think she's awesome and brave for trying, and that I'm proud of her, but that her current humor style isn't my particular taste. I also try to give her input on what would have been funnier for her to do, from my perspective as an audience member. She seems to appreciate my input.
I work for a large PR firm and every year our company has a party in a hotel ballroom. As part of the entertainment the company always hires various singers and other musicians. Over the years, Angela has been my plus-one a couple of times. I've always felt that she could take it or leave it, and she only attends because she's my friend and wants to be supportive, just like I attend her comedy acts to be there for her.
Well, she found out this year that our party is going to have comedians as well for the entertainment.
I am close to the event organizers and have arranged for other entertainment in the past, and it's always been local talent. Angela KNOWS that I have a lot of pull as to who gets to be a comedian for the event.
My problem is, Angela takes it as a given that I'm going to ask her to be one of the comedians (we're hiring three). Her attitude is "well, what other two comedians will you get?"
It's a well-paying gig and I know Angela would love to have this feather in her cap.
My other problem is that Angela has a certain style of comedy that uses a lot of profanity and sexual humor, and when I brought that up she said she would just tone it down and do jokes like she did on another night when I watched her do comedy (where she also bombed).
Angela isn't a loser and she has other friends, and I was SO embarrassed and ashamed of myself but I went behind her back and asked another of her friends what she thought of Angela's comedy, and the friend just practically gasped and said oh thank GOD I thought I was the only one...
Now both me and the other friend are anxious that Angela not embarrass herself and also in a selfish way I don't want Angela's lack of comedic talent to hurt my stake in the company, because I really need this job.
Any advice on how I can get Angela to stop thinking I'm going to get her the job just because I'm practically her best friend, and yet somehow spare her ego and feelings?
Her friend and I have both tried to be supportive with her without trying to crush her spirit by telling her she just isn't funny.
I mean humor is a subjective thing but personally I doubt my colleagues will find her funny either.
______
**tl;dr: my friend is a comedian. She isn't funny. My company is hiring comedians. My friend thinks we should hire her. I'm thinking please oh God no.**


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