I’m [30 F] starting to think my fiancé [37 M] prefers me to be sad and broken.

(We’ve been together 4 years and are getting married in October.)
The past few months I’ve been very productive. I’ve been losing weight through healthy eating and exercise. I’ve met several personal goals and have been feeling really good and happy and strong and positive.
During this time, my fiancé has become really distant. He hasn’t encouraged me or acknowledged my progress. We haven’t had sex in over a month. I’ve tried, but he’s never receptive. He always has to be the one to initiate it.
He quit being affectionate with me altogether. I kept giving him back massages and playing with his hair like he likes but he basically stopped giving me everything except for a quick, routine peck on the lips when he leaves for work.
Since the beginning of our relationship I put on 20lbs while he consistently stayed lean and muscular. He’s very physically fit and active and is still in better shape than I am, even with all of my progress. Which is why it surprises me that he hasn’t been supportive. I’m not leaving him behind but am actually joining him, although I’ve been feeling like I’ve been doing it all alone this whole time.
This past weekend he began taking everything I said personally. For example, I noticed the outside of our house was looking pretty drabby. I enthusiastically said I wanted to clean it. He responded that I was making him feel like a failure. I tried telling him he isn’t a failure and the responsibility lies with both of us to keep our home looking nice because we deserve it. It was like talking to a brick wall... he’s barely spoken to me these past few days.
Last night he was being very rude to me regarding everything, like me asking him how his day was or what he wants for dinner. Finally I just started crying and he just sat and looked at me, emotionless. I told him I miss him and felt like he has been so far away. He used to be very sweet and loving and affectionate with me.
We began arguing until eventually I was just a bawling and broken puddle of a human. Then he starts being nice to me again immediately. Like a switch was flipped. He wanted to hold me and make it all better. I fell asleep crying and with him tickling my back like he always used to. “Just let me love you,†he kept saying.
Except I was letting him love me. For months it’s all I’ve wanted. I wanted him to love me by encouraging me and telling me he’s proud of me, by being my biggest cheerleader like I’ve always been his. I wanted him to love my strength, my perseverance, my determination, my confidence. I wanted him to love the fact that I actually started to love myself.
Looking back over our relationship, I’m starting to see a pattern. He seems to love me best, or at least he shows me that, when I’m weak and entirely dependent upon him. Any time I am making positive changes in my life for myself he seems to pull away from me and becomes very distant. It hurts.
Today I woke up with my eyes so swollen from crying that I can barely see to type this. I feel unmotivated and have already missed my morning yoga practice. I’m exhausted and I just want to lay in bed all day. He keeps telling me he is going to fix it and make it better. “Just let me love you,†he keeps saying.
I don’t know what that means anymore.
Could this be all in my head or do my instincts seem accurate? I’m feeling very confused right now. Some outside input would be much appreciated. Thank you.
Tldr- My fiancé doesn’t support me when I make positive changes in my life, it’s been a pattern I’ve noticed over the past couple of years. He pulls away from me and seems to prefer me when I’m weak and need him to be strong for me.


Source.