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I'm [37F] 7 months pregnant and no longer want to have a baby; my husband [38M] of 6 years desperate (by Sparky)

 Sparky (0)  (29 / M-F / Massachusetts)
5-May-18 6:30 am
I'm [37F] 7 months pregnant and no longer want to have a baby; my husband [38M] of 6 years desperately wants a baby

This probably isn't the kind of question for this sub, but I'm panicking. I'm scared, and I feel this is the only place to go because I have some shred of anonymity.
My husband and I have been married for six years, and we've both wanted kids like nobody's business. We started trying right after we got married, but I kept experiencing issues. Then, his mom got sick, so we put our plans on hold. When we started to try again, we didn't have any luck. We tried to adopt, and we got really close, but at the last second the birth mother changed her mind. After that, we decided to call it quits. It was sort of written in the stars for us. Then, we decided to just try one more time. Of course, that one more time was *the* time. We've been watching this pregnancy like a hawk, no chances taken. I was so excited. Our nursery has been ready for years, and I spend all my time in it. I loved to talk to my baby, I wouldn't shut up about how much I loved our child. And my husband has been overjoyed, he tells everyone he knows. I'm seven months pregnant right now.
And I'm not excited. Like, a week and a half ago, I started realizing that I can't do this. And it's not the normal panic of being a mom, it's real dread. I was looking at the ultrasound the other day, and I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to just push the baby out right then and there, then run for the hills. I just felt paralyzed with that feeling of "I can't." I can't picture myself feeding my baby, or rocking them to sleep, or changing their diaper, or tying their shoes. I don't even want to. I feel ready, I feel prepared, I know the whole deal- but I feel like I just don't want to. All the excitement is gone, I can't feel anything but anger towards my baby. I feel like it's going to ruin my life, and I'm going to hate it, and it's going to hate me.
I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should tell my husband or hope it goes away, because I know it would just crush him and everyone I've spoken to says that they've gotten those nerves before having their baby. And I want it to just be nerves, but it can't be. It just can't be. Everytime I think of being a mom, my insides just turn and I want to punch something. And I know that something's wrong because I've wanted this since I was a kid. I've wasted half my savings trying to do this. And now, I'm here and I feel like this and it's not right. Do I tell him? Will this go away?
TL;DR: I'm panicking because I don't want to have a child anymore.


Source.

 

 

 
 
 MrWalkSoftly (16)     (58 / M-F / Louisiana)
5-May-18 1:00 pm
Hope to God this is hormones....

 

 

 
 
 semisweet 
6-May-18 12:21 pm
Google pregnancy anxiety

 

 

 
 
 megsy89 (7)      (34 / F-MF / South Carolina)
6-May-18 5:43 pm
Google pregnancy anxiety
right... sounds like postpartum hit early

 

 

 
 
 bobbykingz (0)   (32 / M-F / India)
7-May-18 7:19 am
@semisweet: a nice one

 

 

 
 
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