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My [36F] husband [41M] got fired for harassing a coworker, and won't talk to me about it. (by Sparky)

 Sparky (0)  (29 / M-F / Massachusetts)
3-Apr-18 7:51 am
My [36F] husband [41M] got fired for harassing a coworker, and won't talk to me about it.

My husband Charlie and I have been together for 10 years, married for 6. We've had our ups and downs, but are currently in an 'up.' He has never done anything like this in the past, so it came out of left field for me and I'm very much shocked and at a loss here.
Charlie is a computer programmer and was a senior engineer at his (former) company, where he had worked for 4 years. He'd never had any trouble with coworkers and we're both friendly with a few of them, mostly other men and their wives. On Friday of last week, he came home around 11am and told me he'd been fired. He was really upset and agitated, and I didn't want to push him about it, but he told me that they'd said he was harassing a coworker and was fired.
The information I've been able to get out of him:

  • The coworker is Beth, a junior engineer who he's never mentioned to me before. He said she's 'terrible at her job.'
  • Beth slept with a senior engineer we are both friendly with, Darren. Darren wasn't involved in the harassment, wasn't fired, etc.
  • The company's lawyers were there and among the things they told him was that Beth could have pressed charges but chose not to.
  • Something happened with her car, but he won't say what. His exact words were, 'There was something with her car.'
  • He was escorted off of the premises and is not allowed back in the building to get his belongings, and instead has to arrange with security to pick them up after business hours.

As far as anything else goes, he won't give me any details. He isn't interested in seeing a lawyer because he says everything is legal. He has basically admitted to 'sending Beth some e-mails' but won't say what they said or anything like that. I don't know if Beth sleeping with Darren had to do with it, but the fact that he gave me that detail makes me think it does. I'm not sure how it relates; Darren is a very nice, single man who is in his late 20s and approximately the same age as Beth.
My mind is running wild here. Charlie has been depressed and withdrawn all weekend, won't talk to me about it, and won't talk much in general. I work remotely so I was home all day with him and he played video games all day and then went to bed at 6pm.
The fact that he won't tell me anything and isn't interested in seeing a lawyer makes me think that it's Bad, and makes me worry that everything is true and not just a misunderstanding or a small thing blown out of proportion. He has never been flirtatious with other women or cruel to them, and he's never said anything bad about other women engineers he works with.
I don't know what to do here. My instinct is to be supportive of my husband, but I don't know what kind of behavior I'd be supporting. I don't want to run to his coworkers we know and ask them, since they're more 'our' friends than my friends, and while we spend time together at get togethers or bars, I'm not close with them. In an immediate sense, I don't know what to do about helping someone who is so depressed and won't talk to me.
TL;DR: My husband was fired for harassing a coworker and refuses to give me any details or talk at all since Friday.


Source.

 

 

 
 
 MrWalkSoftly (16)     (58 / M-F / Louisiana)
3-Apr-18 2:49 pm
Charlie wanted to hit dat and got turned down.....

 

 

 
 
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