My [38F] husband [41m] doesn't want to bring me to his company dinner because he's embarrassed of me. 13 years.

I feel almost heartbroken. I'm just numb from shock at finding out this is how he sees me.
We've been arguing about this upcoming company dinner party he has. he's angling for a promotion to VP, this is a pretty big deal. The company is well known, you'd probably have heard of it if I said the name. Well the past few weeks, whenever I'd bring it up, saying things like I need to get a nice outfit etc he's been acting weird. He'd ignore me or just make a dismissive comment. Then he started suggesting I didn't need to come, would find it boring, all these excuses. I've always come in the past, he's worked there for over 10 years, the entire time we've been married.
I started getting the feeling he didn't want me there. I'm not proud of this but I admit I wondered if he was having an affair with someone there.
Tonight I finally asked why he's been stand offish. He tried to deny it. Finally he said... "Look it's not that I don't want you there but I need to maintain my image. (CEO's name), (current VP soon retiring's name) and all the other big guys wives put a lot of care into their appearance" .....??? I asked what that meant...
He started asking all these pointed questions, when was the last time I went to the gym? Do I do anything about my grey hairs? Have I considered the wrinkle treatment he suggested awhile ago??
And then, "I mean you're on your second piece of lasagna tonight? I don't see you ever having salads? I'm not trying to be mean but it shows, I can't have them seeing that." That one I remember word for word. That's what he told me.
I've gained between 15-20 pounds since we got married, in that time I had two kids. So yes I've gained a bit of weight. I could stand to lose a few pounds but it's the....cold critical way he told me this. We don't have much sex anymore and It felt like he just doesn't find me attractive and doesn't care.
I started to get upset. He rolled his eyes and said, "see this is why I never mentioned it, you'd make a big deal. It's not a big deal, I just don't want to be embarrassed in front of (bunch of important guy's names)"
Now the guys he named, the CEO and people on the board, who'd be promoting him, most of them are a bit older than him. I've met them and there wives before at these company dinners...a lot of them are on their second marriage to women probably half their age. These women are all very thin and conventionally attractive, could be on magazine covers. I am...not like that. I'm 38 yeah I have some grey hairs coming in, a tummy, a couple wrinkles and I don't feel the need to get botox and wear a full face of makeup everyday. He's never complained about this before. I never thought he cared, or he'd have divorced me right??
So after he said I'd be embarrassing to him in front of those men, I admit I started crying a bit and argued back. I said well, you never told me any of this? How does MY age and appearance make HIM look bad anyway?
He said that I'm "just not the sort of partner" that men of the status he's trying for typically have. "That's all." He said this in a really condescending way. I said something like, "because i'm not a bottle-blonde bimbo with giant plastic **** and a 20 inch waist?" Yes I know this was petty and just made the argument worse..
He started to get annoyed then and said he's not asking for the bimbo look but I've "let myself go" and will look sloppy to the people there.
We bickered a little more, and it ended with him saying "(My Name), I'm sorry but the fact of the matter is I can't bring a fat, slobbish wife to this function ahead of the most important opportunity in my career! End of discussion!"
I left the table, went to my office upstairs and have just been crying. I can hear the TV on downstairs. He's been down there for the past few hours. I wasn't expecting him to come check on me, he never does but I'm still so hurt.
I've been trying to think of everything this could mean. Maybe he was just talking about how he thinks other people would see me as fat and slobbish, not that he thinks that himself. Or maybe he secretly wishes I was like those men's wives. I don't know. This combined with realizing he never plans any kind of date or sweet activity with me anymore... It makes me wonder if he even loves me anymore.
I don't know, is he right? Am I taking it too personally and being dramatic? Could my appearance really cost him a promotion or is that an excuse for, hell if I know, an affair or some worse reason he doesn't want me there? I have no idea what to believe now.
Tl;dr My husband doesn't want me to come to his company dinner party while he's in the running for a promotion because my physical appearance is embarrassing to him.


Source.