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I'm getting divorced [34F]. My son's [11M] teacher [30's? F] is friends with my ex husbands sister. (by Sparky)
(29 / M-F / Massachusetts)
I'm getting divorced [34F]. My son's [11M] teacher [30's? F] is friends with my ex husbands sister. She went behind my back and talked to my son about his dad and said she would be a go between messenger for him. Son was upset and uncomfortable and I am furious. What do I do?
Just a heads up I may come across as over emotional and a bit ranty. I'm just very tired and stressed and angry. So I apologize in advance if this seems like a vent. I don't have a big support system.
So, my husband and I are getting a divorce because I've caught him cheating on me multiple times. We have two kids, "Caleb" who is 11 and in 5th grade and "Belle" who is 8 and in 2nd.
They're doing ok considering although Caleb is definitely taking it harder. I plan on getting them into counseling of some sort when I can.
I should mention now that Caleb's teacher, "Mrs.A" is BFF's with my ex husbands sister. This is relevant.
So yesterday I pick the kids up from school and I notice that Caleb is in a worse mood than usual. But I say nothing. He doesn't like being called out on his feelings. I always let my son approach me. It works better this way.
After dinner he asked if he could talk to me. He said at lunch recess dismissal Mrs. A pulled him aside and said she wanted him to know that his dad loves him, misses him and if he ever wants to talk to him, he can talk to her and she will relay the message to him.
I hate to sound like the bitter ex wife but my ex already has back owed child support. Hasn't paid me a dime of it. And he constantly bounces on the kids and makes last minute cancellations when it's time for his visitation with them. There's always an excuse. He even ditches on scheduled phone and face time calls with them.
I WANT my ex to spend time with our children, I feel they deserve to have a dad even though he treated me like crap but is just AWOL all the time. But that's another story.
I calmly thanked my son for telling me. He said he just wanted to tell me because he felt funny and uncomfortable with his teacher saying and doing what she did. I said I would handle it.
Dating.mobi I am STEAMING ANGRY. I am ******. How DARE my son's teacher insert herself into our personal lives like this?!? I don't care if she is BFF's with my ex sister-in-law, I feel what she did was completely over stepping her boundaries and grossly unprofessional. Is this allowed? And to think I wouldn't have known about it if my son hadn't said anything! It makes me wonder if she has said anything to my younger more impressionable daughter (although I casually asked Belle today if Mrs. A had ever talked to her or asked her any questions and she said not really. Hopefully that's the truth).
I don't have much family and hardly any friends out here and I've just been stewing all day on this. I'm taking today and tomorrow to cool down and plan to do something on Monday. I don't know who else to turn to.
I want Mrs. A fired although I highly doubt this is a fireable offense. Was what she did legal or ok? I've just got a ton of stress on my plate so maybe I'm not the most rational person at the moment. Usually I cool down after a day or so but not this time. I'm still just as angry as I was last night, if not more so. I'm so mad I'm making a post about it on Dating.mobi.
What are my options here? What should I do? If there are any teachers out there I could get an opinion from too, that would be extra helpful.
TL;DR. Getting divorced. Son's teacher, who is friends with ex husbands sister, pulled my son aside yesterday to tell him how much his father loves him and misses him and said she will act as a go between if he wants to communicate with him. The only reason I found out is because this upset my son and he told me. So angry I can't think straight. This wasn't ok right? What are my options?
Source.
Just a heads up I may come across as over emotional and a bit ranty. I'm just very tired and stressed and angry. So I apologize in advance if this seems like a vent. I don't have a big support system.
So, my husband and I are getting a divorce because I've caught him cheating on me multiple times. We have two kids, "Caleb" who is 11 and in 5th grade and "Belle" who is 8 and in 2nd.
They're doing ok considering although Caleb is definitely taking it harder. I plan on getting them into counseling of some sort when I can.
I should mention now that Caleb's teacher, "Mrs.A" is BFF's with my ex husbands sister. This is relevant.
So yesterday I pick the kids up from school and I notice that Caleb is in a worse mood than usual. But I say nothing. He doesn't like being called out on his feelings. I always let my son approach me. It works better this way.
After dinner he asked if he could talk to me. He said at lunch recess dismissal Mrs. A pulled him aside and said she wanted him to know that his dad loves him, misses him and if he ever wants to talk to him, he can talk to her and she will relay the message to him.
I hate to sound like the bitter ex wife but my ex already has back owed child support. Hasn't paid me a dime of it. And he constantly bounces on the kids and makes last minute cancellations when it's time for his visitation with them. There's always an excuse. He even ditches on scheduled phone and face time calls with them.
I WANT my ex to spend time with our children, I feel they deserve to have a dad even though he treated me like crap but is just AWOL all the time. But that's another story.
I calmly thanked my son for telling me. He said he just wanted to tell me because he felt funny and uncomfortable with his teacher saying and doing what she did. I said I would handle it.
Dating.mobi I am STEAMING ANGRY. I am ******. How DARE my son's teacher insert herself into our personal lives like this?!? I don't care if she is BFF's with my ex sister-in-law, I feel what she did was completely over stepping her boundaries and grossly unprofessional. Is this allowed? And to think I wouldn't have known about it if my son hadn't said anything! It makes me wonder if she has said anything to my younger more impressionable daughter (although I casually asked Belle today if Mrs. A had ever talked to her or asked her any questions and she said not really. Hopefully that's the truth).
I don't have much family and hardly any friends out here and I've just been stewing all day on this. I'm taking today and tomorrow to cool down and plan to do something on Monday. I don't know who else to turn to.
I want Mrs. A fired although I highly doubt this is a fireable offense. Was what she did legal or ok? I've just got a ton of stress on my plate so maybe I'm not the most rational person at the moment. Usually I cool down after a day or so but not this time. I'm still just as angry as I was last night, if not more so. I'm so mad I'm making a post about it on Dating.mobi.
What are my options here? What should I do? If there are any teachers out there I could get an opinion from too, that would be extra helpful.
TL;DR. Getting divorced. Son's teacher, who is friends with ex husbands sister, pulled my son aside yesterday to tell him how much his father loves him and misses him and said she will act as a go between if he wants to communicate with him. The only reason I found out is because this upset my son and he told me. So angry I can't think straight. This wasn't ok right? What are my options?
Source.
(49 / F-MF / Tennessee)Holy crap!!! Ok first...him owing child support and backing out of visitation has nothing to do with this situation, so that was tmi and just to butter yourself up. But the teacher was wayyyyyy out of line. I would definitely contact the board of education about it. She needs terminated. Not her place to step into pesonal affairs like that. Sorry, but i would be fuming.
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