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UPDATE: How do I [26F] stop feeling bitter about my immediate family's new lifestyle? (by Sparky)

 Sparky (0)  (29 / M-F / Massachusetts)
16-Dec-17 10:30 am
UPDATE: How do I [26F] stop feeling bitter about my immediate family's new lifestyle?

I got a lot of really great feedback from the original post about 3 weeks ago (https://www.reddit.com/r/relationshi...tter_about_my/) and guess I just wanted to say thanks.
It took a few days to digest what a lot of people were saying. At the end of the day I hoped to approach the situation as me wanting to be close to my family again and basically trying to ignore the money part. For the next couple of weeks if I wanted to talk to my mother I made sure to call at a time I knew she wasn't swamped with work (either before she left for the day or before going to bed) and if anything to do with money came up, it was treated as a side note. "Oh dad won 4k last night online? That's awesome for him. Where are you travelling for work tomorrow? Have you been there before? Are you looking forward to it?" and she just sort of.. opened up. I told her how I was feeling slighted, fully addressed the issue and even told her how I felt the slight favoritism towards my brother, because he was present, was getting to me.
My mother is an extremely intelligent woman, reading back on my posts I think I stressed this a lot but she really, really is. We had our one super feelsy chat and moved on but she's been going out of her way to show me she's serious this time with actions not just words. I was over recently and before she dropped me off at home (we live about an hour away from one another) she stopped to at a store and remarked "your dad and brother lost 600$ last night online, what kind of ****ed up logic is it that I can't afford to buy you some groceries?" . Our upcoming Christmas plans, which I was dreading, are now actual plans. She's picked out a theme for before and after dinner, neither which involve gambling, and is incredibly focused on us spending time away from a computer screen. Our gift exchange is a 20$ limit and she found some game online so that nothing is tailored towards anyone and we all feel included. She's been providing ideas for the wedding planning and even called me the other day saying "Well you call me all the time and I was thinking about you so I thought I'd call you!" just to chat. Overall... Im kind of stoked about where this is going. It's only been less then a month but I've never known my mother to commit to something and not stick with it so, I'm remaining hopeful.
Thanks for all the insight, personal experiences and words of advice for coping. I read every single one of those comments over and over for weeks so I figured some kind of update was warranted.
TL;DR: Talked to mom again. Used a lot of points from my previous post and communication saves the day once again.


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