How do I (F18) survive the worst year of my life? My boyfriend (M18) abandoned me, my grandma died, I had an abortion, I attempted suicide, my friends left me, all within 3 months and I don't know how to repair what's wrong

The timeline is like this:
May - My boyfriend breaks up with me and I have a breakdown, I try to kill myself because as stupid as it sounds, I just loved him too much June - I find out I'm pregnant. I choose to get an abortion and my ex decided to let me stay with him while I'm going through the effects of the medical abortion (I took abortion pills so that I could do it at the privacy of a home instead of the surgery option). While I'm at his home, he kisses me and makes me hopeful for our relationship. One day after the abortion, while I was still in pain, he left to go on a boys trip to Oregon. He said many hurtful things, the most hurtful being "I won't give up my friends like you did. I'm not bailing on them to be with you." He just drove off while I was on the street, barefoot and crying like a crazy lady. I attempt suicide again. Driven by an abortion that I didn't even know for sure I wanted and being abandoned by my ex. July - I find out that the abortion pills didn't work so I would need to make a visit to planned parenthood and repeat the process again. I call up my ex and ask him to go with me because I couldn't stand going alone and I didn't want anyone else to know about my secret. This was the first time we met up after he left me from my first abortion. We go to a park and he says that he isn't sorry, and that basically I can go **** myself. I ask to meet up with him a second time and this time, he makes me feel horrible enough that I jump out his car and you guessed it, tried to kill myself again. I just could not handle him being an ******* to me for some reason. Third time's the charm because this time, he met with me at the Planned Parenthood and drove me home. I think we had better luck that time because I didn't bring up the past. A few days later he left for vacation in China and I called him when I was in pain. He said "call a doctor" and I accuse him of being a robot for not asking how I'm doing or anything, just "call a doctor" and that's it. I freaked out because emotionally, I just felt so alone. All my friends left me after my suicide attempt because they didn't want to deal with me and I guess I can't blame them. Who would want to be friends with a suicidal chick. Today - I found out my grandmother died. All of this has taken a huge toll on me. It seems like life is trying to punish me for being alive. I don't have anyone to talk to. I don't how to talk to my friends anymore, I don't know how to fix my now non-existent social circle. I'm a pariah now and I don't know what to do. I could really use some people to talk to.
Regarding my relationships: My family- I resent my cousin for being fake. She kept saying that she cared about me online but when I actually reached out to her and asked to meet in person to talk she never responded back and I saw on Facebook that she's going to Oregon with her boyfriend. It kind of triggered me. Two people in my life going to Oregon in the middle of bad times. My friends: Most are silent towards me but some do try to check up on me. I just can't seem to think that they're disingenuous. Like my cousin, maybe they just want to look good so they ask how I am but they might not actually care. I might be wrong but either way, I'd like to talk to them again. I don't know how. My ex: I don't know what to do regarding him. I miss him since he was such a big part of my life but at some point I have to cut him off to stop him from hurting me anymore. I know that I'm not without blame, a lot of my problems are my fault.
TLDR; After the worst year of my life, my social circle is gone and I feel like a pariah. How can I fix this.
Ps- I know my suicide attempts were mistakes and I promise you that I won't be harming myself any longer. I won't put my family through two deaths in one year.


Source.