How do you stop obsessively thinking about a past negative life experience, replaying it over and over?

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Hi, ahhh.... It's so good to be back in forums :) Well, back in dating Dating.mobi too! Your post is interesting as it comes up quite often in my life. I am always faced with negativity and nay-sayers. I've been told repeatedly to forgive others. However, I had to learn to punish myself and then forgive myself. Not punish and destroy myself. Just forgive myself. It doesn't erase the negative experiences, but I can then find the positive and use it to live for myself. Not, for those experiences or other negative people. I found it is a waste of time and very distracting in trying to better myself and my life. Negativity like positivity will always be there.

@JustMeAndYou77:
Just a little thought I heard once
Forget about the past dont worry about yesterday live for today with your eye on tomorrow. I try and separate myself from negativity. At night if im in bed trying to sleep and cant because of to many bad thoughts I learned to just sing to myself or try and thank of the many good things Im blessed with and it usually works ; )

Hi rulost2, yesss, I agree.... I came across this cute little journal called "In All Things Give Thanks 90 Days Of Gratitude" while browsing online. It was a free copy so I ordered one. My belief is, there are a ton of things we can be negative about. But, for some reason, it's like pulling teeth to be thankful for the blessings or even for the good things that come out of the bad. I stopped praying because I did not want to be like God do this...do that...Get them Lord lol I wanted to also just thank him. It's amazing just how much control we have in our own lives...with ourselves when we release all the negative. I struggle with resentment. I do. I can not say that I am a forgiving person, but I do forgive myself. If I've played a fool, been taken advantaged of, humiliated and so on, I've played a part in it. I can't blame it all on the negative people or experiences. I have to do a little suffering for it and then forgive myself. Otherwise, I unconsciously continue to allow it thinking it won't or shouldn't. I know we need guidance, support, and even tough love from others, but allowing others to have complete control of your happiness or unhappiness is just not a human condition.

@JustMeAndYou77:
That sounds like a great journal. I need to check that out. It reminds me of a movie I seen once where this married couple were at each others throat they took each other for granted so bad they hated each other and were talking about a divorce. The guy went to his dad who was a preacher and was happly married for 40 yrs complaining and asking for advice. His dad told him for 40 days one day at a time put his wife first and stop taken her for advantage. Like one day clean the house the next buy her flowers the next make her breakfast in bed and so on. Her mom was really ill so he sold his corvette and bought her equipment she was needing but he didnt tell her it was him that did it. Each day he put her first and it won her love back.
What im getting at if we try one day at a time to go positive we can program our brain to get away from the negativity. Isn't it so funny how we as humans always look at negative so much we program ourselfs thats theres nothing else