Why did i spend 17faithful yrs with someone who i gave my everything for but gave up cos got tired trying alone to make it work. Now ive divorced him but it hurts that he couldnt be straight with me 4yrs ago when the cracks started showing. I coulda left then already. I conclude now he was selfish and i was in denial. Having hard time coming to terms with this betrayal and im not pessimistic and dont wana get bitter or cynical cos thats not me but now i feel i must always be on guard!

When I finally split up with a girlfriend of ten years, I realized how I had been seeing her blindly for the last year of the relationship. Then a few months later I began to think if she had cheated on me during the last, I wonder how many times she had done it through out the whole relationship. Now three years later I realize that not all women are like her, there has to be some women left in the world who are faithful. But during that 3 year span I wouldn't believe that & I ruined a few relationships thinking that way. I know now that I have got to trust somebody that I have feelings for until they prove me wrong & I can't see a new relationship while looking at it thru the eyes of the old relationship. I got to see the new woman as she is, not as the past girlfriend was.

@tractorjohn: Heya-its hard to trust after that but same time we ignore the signals and our intuition. I trust easily which is a fault i have but its becos im loyal and expect others to be same. i put in hundred percent and got ten and i cant say my ex is bad person cos his not-just wish he coulda trusted me enough to share with me. I can take anything thrown at me except a lie cos they aint a reason to lie to me. Im very open and his emotionally retarded-i cant think betr word to sum it up.

@Trisha777: Sounds like he didn't want you in his everyday life& he only needed you in certain areas but not everywhere. Was the only time he gave you attention was when he wanted to have sex?