First I want to start off by saying I love my Mom. She means the world to me & here's some of why.
My Mom is a foster parent & has been for close to if not 30 years. I came to live with her when I was 16. I was quiet, introverted & angry at anything & everything.

Hit the wrong button, sorry. Anyway, I didn't get close to people & did everything I knew how to keep them from getting close to me. After all, why get attached when they were going to leave anyway? No sympathy please bc everyone has went through hell. I'm no different. She taught me it was ok to open up, was ok to let someone in. It took her 2.5 years to do it but she was patient. She was the first person & last to tell me she wasn't going to let me run when I got scared. She is & always will be my Mom. I moved away when I was 20. I'm now almost 27. In that many years, I can count on one hand the number of times she's called me. We are friends on Facebook. She doesn't get on hers much but has never sent me a message, never posted anything to my wall. I must admit, I'm jealous & hurt. She has a biological daughter, she posts to her Facebook & calls her @ least once a week. My Mom told me biology doesn't matter, but I see that & realize that apparently, biology will always win for most.
My question is, how do you keep up a relationship when the other won't put some effort in too?

Wow jen...honestly I'm not sure how to answer that question.. and I certainly wouldn't want to say anything that would hear anybody in the wrong direction... I can't say it's hard to have a relationship with anybody when its a 1 way street and that's why I don't have a relationship with the little family I do have left.... but I also just wanted to say that sometimes there just isn't an answer anyone can give the best they can do is say I'm sorry that really sucks and let you know were willing to listen sorry if that don't help much I wanted to let you know my opinion

You're right about the fact that it sucks but perhaps not on the no answer part. The answers may not be what we want but there is always an answer. In my case, out of sight truly is out of mind. I'll take all the wonderful things she has taught me & has brought into my life & realize that even though our relationship isn't how i wish it to be, she gave me hope & taught me how a Mom was supposed to be. For that alone, I will always love her. Thank you for your feedback.

Ummm when i first starting reading that i was like what a great person ur mom is to help u like she did, then it took a turn. I really dont know how to answer that, my daughter's grandmother had a foster child and she recieved ALL the attention, her kids came before her own grand daughter and thats no lie, i couldnt stand it. My daughter is almost 19 now and its still the same way. Her grandparents never came to a bday party, a school function, nothing!! They did come to her graduation last week and took pics of the foster grand kids...no lie. So i guess what im saying is, its different for different people. Ur mom sounds like a great person and jus remember what she taught u. Dont let her behavior now get u down.

I know sometimes I feel petty because of the issues I have with my Mom & other siblings but its not right to basically ignore children, no matter how old or what their biology is. I'm sorry that your daughter has to deal with that. Its not right in any case. I do know from experience that most foster kids need more attention but that doesn't give your daughter's grandmother the right to act that way towards your daughter.

Yea i know. It bothered me for a long time, still does today, but she has her other grandmother and family that show her more love then she could ever think of. I dont think parents should ever turn their backs on the children they raised whether its biological or not, if they loved u enough to raise u and help u be the woman u r today, y turn her back on u now? Thats jus cruel

Wow. Very very close to my own situation. Like creepy close. She wasent a foster parent tho. She was my best friends mom. She was and always will be my mom when my mother wanted nothing to do with me. Ill tell ya now. Just becase she more or less ignores you dosent mean she dosent care. People like u and i need to let people like that know we thank them every day for everything they did. I still call and leave a message to the letting them know im doing ok. Trust me she cares. Always let her know your thankfull.

Sometimes when I think about it, I try to look at it like she knows I'll be ok no matter the circumstances but it doesn't replace a phone call or txt to say she cares. I may be on the edge of 27 but I still need to hear it lol.

Well ifit helps i care. ^.^