Due to various past experiences that i am uncomfortable going into publicly, i have zero self confidence and quite a high sense of self-loathing because of it. The last few months that has galvanised itself into a nice dose of depression. All in all that makes it rather hard to come across as appealing to the opposite sex. I find that when in a relationship i am a much happier person but when single i tend to end up hiding myself away from the world and getting more and more withdrawn. Any ideas how to get over this?

Hmm...lets start with things you like to do, give us a list?

@JCSMTG: well what i like to do amd what i can afford to do don't coincide to well. Hermit-like stuff usually, reading, surfing the web etc., never have been a social butterfly. My main issue is that my last relationship was quite enclosed. 3 and 1/2 years with really only eachothers company so don't really have a social circle.

Well, not all hobbies are costly. Is there anything you like to do outside?

I like walking, always wanted to try golfing and have enjoyed fishing once or twice. I suffer from Trigeminal Neuralgia unfortunately, am ok most of the time, but when it flares up, the outoors is not my friend. A light breeze can cause pain akin to a cattleprod in the face. Mostly it's controllable though, but when it's bad it's awful.

Lets see...coed gym membership? Working out in front of women can be a confidence builder even if its walking on a treadmill. Indoor putput golf?

And another option is to jump into conversations here, that can subtley build confidence too.

@Thanx4memory: for me i was the same way when i lost the man i was supposed to marry, but you just got to get back out in the world instead of sitting around hating and feeling sorry for yourself!! Everything takes time and everything happens for a reason!!!

Thanx, sorry to hear about what you are going through and I hope it works out for the best. As hard as it may seem to do, it is crucial that you reach out towards the positive things that you see in your life and to look at the negative things in a positive manner. :) It sounds strange but even the worst time of your life can be viewed as positive because you gained a learned expierence from it and all learning, regardless of the source is a positive instance. When you can view everything that happens in a positive manner, the negative things begin to wither and die away from you and all that you are left with is the polsitive experience...bringing your whole life back to good. JC is correct, take your interests and hobbies and build upon them to break out of this idea that the norm is depression and realize that despite what you are going through, your will enables you with the capacity to accomplish anything. We only limit ourselves by limiting our perspectives and thus our perception on life :)

You mentioned you enjoyed fishing, keep an eye out for fishing conventions, its a great social event for beginners and experts alike