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Probably funniest ive heard (by ManySmiles)
2 guys were out hunting in a tree stand one morning. One fell out of the tree and his friend called 911 in a panic.
Operator: 911 whats your emergency?
Hunter in a panicked voice: my friend and I were hunting, he fell out of the tree stand and isnt moving, i think hes dead!
Operator: ok sir try to calm down, now i need you to check him to make sure hes dead.
Hunter: ok hold on
Theres a pause, then the operator hears BANG!
Hunter: ok now what do i do?
Operator: 911 whats your emergency?
Hunter in a panicked voice: my friend and I were hunting, he fell out of the tree stand and isnt moving, i think hes dead!
Operator: ok sir try to calm down, now i need you to check him to make sure hes dead.
Hunter: ok hold on
Theres a pause, then the operator hears BANG!
Hunter: ok now what do i do?
(30 / F-M / Florida)Oh wow lol the dude must be completely retarded!!! 
someone needs help. haha.
someone needs help. haha.
ya ...no...... A vampire walks into a bar sits down the bartender says what can i get ya.... The vampire says a glass of hot water..... Hot water?, says the bartender.. I thought you guys just drink blood.... (As the bartender gives the vampire the hot water.) The vampire pulls out a used tampon.... An says to the bartender..... Im making tea.....
Omgg (o_o) eww that's sick D: that is one crazy vampire
@Vampire jokes: heard em all and ain't funny to me anymore been hearing it from my friend everyday
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