Boyfriend (29M) has turned into a totally different person in the space of a year? please help me, please say I?m not alone in this? (29F) ? I feel like I?ve thrown my life away for him

So I?m not going to use names, but myself (F29) and boyfriend, (M29) have been going through bit of a rough patch.
Relevant background info?. He?s never had a long term relationship before me, I had a nearly 7 year relationship prior which ended due to his infidelity?. I?m a child of separated parents and he?s the child of still happily married parents. I?m not a huge drinker, he wasn?t a huge drinker at the beginning. Before I start explaining my boyfriends behaviour and asking for advice I?ll be open and honest about my own drawbacks because they might be relevant to why I?m feeling this way. I do definitely have abandonment issues strongly linked to my dad leaving young and my ex cheating on me, I am aware that I have the tendency to overthink and sometimes my brain can go to worst case scenario every time?. Hence coming to Dating.mobi for hopefully some advice. Jokingly I took a test online to find out my attachment style and I asked my partner to do one too?. No surprise I am an anxious attachment type and my partner surprisingly is the avoidant type. I wouldn?t have ever believed this in the beginning, but now he?s pulling away so hard and I don?t know what to do. I?ve already rambled enough so I?ll do statements of what things had been like the first year and what things are like now?.

• we used to be a very together couple, he would plan nice things and so would I?. We would go out on day trips and have adventures ?. Now he is only interested in doing something if there?s a drink in his hand
• he used to be very verbally attentive and very soft with me, he was very kind and complimentary?. Now it?s almost like I don?t exist and we drift past eachother?. If I compliment him it sort of falls on deaf ears?
• For the first year of being together he seemed like it was really important to him that I felt safe, secure and loved? now it seems as though he feels as though I should ?know by now that he loves me??. I?d like to emphasis i don?t constantly ask for reassurance, but after he?s been distant I do sometimes ask ?have I done something wrong?? ? he always says no but then goes straight back to his laptop to play a video game
• He used to really appreciate all the things I do for him, I do all the cleaning and cooking, I wake up early to make his lunches before he goes to work (he wakes up about 4 hours before I need to get up for work), I adjusted my sleep pattern to accommodate his work schedule and he used to say he loved waking up with me and that no-one had ever done that before and give me a huge cuddle every morning ?. Now he barely gives me a second look in the morning ?
• He used to be an active participant in my family and friends lives; today was the final straw for me?. He went out last night and was too hungover to come to my families Mother?s Day breakfast?. I still went to his mums after to bring her flowers and chocolates but he had already left
• He is aware that I have had a history with physical abuse, at the beginning he was so kind about it and really paid attention to his behaviour and ensured his body language (even when having a lovers quarrel) was neutral. Since then he?s started throwing things, slamming doors, even punching his own hands / head when upset or overwhelmed (please note he has never done any of this in my direction, just in-front of me). When I leave the room to avoid the trigger he just gets annoyed and says things like ?that wasn?t directed at you, stop being weird?

I don?t know if I?m doing a good job of explaining things?. But does this sound like a case of the ?honeymoon phase? being over behaviour?. Or ?she?s good to me so I?ll stick around because it has benefits however I?m not actually into her anymore behaviour?? I?m starting to feel as though he settled down, moved me in, got our dog together and then realised he didn?t actually want a long term relationship?. I think he preferred his short month long flings?. I?d also like to add I was initially not interested in him due to the fact he has never been in a long term relationship before, but he won me over with sweet words, flowers, romance and promises? now I?m just left so confused and honestly more than a little lonely. He convinced me to not buy a house on my own and move in with him in the beginning year?. Now I regret it so much. I even changed careers for him because he hated me working weekends and he wanted to do more fun things together?. Now that I?m available on weekends.. he?s not interested in the slightest. Have I thrown everything away for a guy who doesn?t love me?
I am expecting to read things I might not like hearing in response to this post; so if anyone?s made it this far and would be willing to give me some feedback please be as honest as you can and I?ll answer any questions?. But please be kind with your words?. I?m so in love with how things were in the start and losing that has left me feeling really vulnerable right now.
Thankyou, so much for spending your time reading this. ??
TL;DR? Boyfriend (29M) worked very hard to win me, (29F) over?. As soon as we had been together for one year and I had changed my jobs, gave up on a house purchase and I committed fully to him? he completely changed. He made so many false promises and I?m so disheartened.
*edit? Thank-you to all who have commented. Although hard to read it?s really helping me to have a sounding board on this situation, I feel sick and can?t sleep. I really appreciate any words of guidance or even distraction.


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