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My partner says hurtful things when she?s high and doesn?t realize it. How do I separate her ?high w (by Sparky)
(30 / M-F / Massachusetts)
My partner says hurtful things when she?s high and doesn?t realize it. How do I separate her ?high words? from who she actually is?
Whenever my (M22) partner (F23) and I smoke weed, she lets a lot of things out that I don?t think she means to let out. She will trauma dump without even realize and sometimes I?m sitting there for 1-2 hours just listening to her dump on me, which I don?t mind, I?m here to listen. And sometimes say very personal revealing things that I think she may regret saying later. But she can also say hurtful things as well.
For example, she knows my weight has always been a subject of bullying for me all my life, and she saw a bunch of mini chocolates in my cupboard. I explained that I have 1 every night or 2 (they are coin size) and it takes away my sugar craving after dinner when I would otherwise make worse decisions. When she found them her response was ?this is why you were fat your whole life?
More recently, I opened up about how I was depressed and it was hard to wake up in the morning etc. She asked me I would ever complain at a fast food restaurant about a wrong meal. My response was ?only if I?m broke and having a terrible day.? To which she said ?well you?re already broke and you clearly have a lot of bad days recently?
Both times I just laughed it off because having a fight while high is definitely not something I want to do, but it definitely hurts. There?s been more, yet small instances very similar.
How do I separate who she is to what she says while high? Am I valid to be upset even though I can?t really hold her to what she says intoxicated?
For context she smokes with me maybe twice a week.
TLDR: my partner says hurtful/insensitive things to me when she?s high. She also says a lot of things she may not mean to say. How do I not take it as personally and separate who she is while she?s high to her normally?
Edit: thank you everyone. It?s given me lots to think about? I really appreciate it.
Source.
Whenever my (M22) partner (F23) and I smoke weed, she lets a lot of things out that I don?t think she means to let out. She will trauma dump without even realize and sometimes I?m sitting there for 1-2 hours just listening to her dump on me, which I don?t mind, I?m here to listen. And sometimes say very personal revealing things that I think she may regret saying later. But she can also say hurtful things as well.
For example, she knows my weight has always been a subject of bullying for me all my life, and she saw a bunch of mini chocolates in my cupboard. I explained that I have 1 every night or 2 (they are coin size) and it takes away my sugar craving after dinner when I would otherwise make worse decisions. When she found them her response was ?this is why you were fat your whole life?
More recently, I opened up about how I was depressed and it was hard to wake up in the morning etc. She asked me I would ever complain at a fast food restaurant about a wrong meal. My response was ?only if I?m broke and having a terrible day.? To which she said ?well you?re already broke and you clearly have a lot of bad days recently?
Both times I just laughed it off because having a fight while high is definitely not something I want to do, but it definitely hurts. There?s been more, yet small instances very similar.
How do I separate who she is to what she says while high? Am I valid to be upset even though I can?t really hold her to what she says intoxicated?
For context she smokes with me maybe twice a week.
TLDR: my partner says hurtful/insensitive things to me when she?s high. She also says a lot of things she may not mean to say. How do I not take it as personally and separate who she is while she?s high to her normally?
Edit: thank you everyone. It?s given me lots to think about? I really appreciate it.
Source.
(36 / M-F / New York)I don't really think she's being hurtful just when she's high it seems to me that she's just a very negative person
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