I (44f) got fat and I know my husband (45m) hates it, and I'm trying to lose weight but he wants sex and I am too insecure

Now I'm freaking out. We've been married for 6 years.
I was never skinny but I was "curvy". I knew I was bigger than my husband's type, but I still felt I looked good and wasn't insecure.
2 years ago I lost my job, couldn't find a new one (hello Covid) and just got depressed. I managed to gain 20 lbs in 2 years. I got on medication and started trying to lose weight, but I have to admit I was struggling (new job that is very busy etc). Our sex life has been pretty crappy during this whole time.
A few times my husband has said things to me when we argue. He once admitted he's not attracted to me anymore. He told me I was too heavy and it was a turn off. He once called me "fat" during a fight. Another time he asked me to try to lose 40 lbs (so 20 less than I started with). All this caused me to feel awful and I felt very insecure (and I started really avoiding sex).
I was trying to lose weight when my mom passed away 2 months ago unexpectedly. Stress, grief and eating way too much take-out caused me to gain 10 MORE lbs. So in total, 30lbs more than I weighed 2 years ago. I feel horrible, fat, completely unattractive and sad.
So now I am trying hard to eat well and exercise.
The issue at hand: my husband is very annoyed about our lack of a sex life. He's getting very frustrated with me and I don't blame him. I've been making excuses and avoiding it. But now, when I look in the mirror after my shower I look disgusting. Fat, lumpy, awful. There's no way I can let him see me naked.
But there's no way I will be able to lose this weight in time to have sex. What the hell can I do? I know this sounds dumb but I need suggestions.
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tldr: I gained way too much weight and have been avoiding sex and my husband is annoyed.


Source.