I don't want FIL to stay in my house, but hubby disagrees. Should I suck it up?

TLDR: Emotionally toxic FIL will only allow his family to visit if they stay in my house. I dislike the way he has treated individuals and property in my home in the past and has requested they stay in a hotel. Hubby thinks I should be able to bury my emotional reactions, opinions and judgements, and allow FIL to brew havoc in my home in order to see MIL and teenage brothers on holiday breaks. Is it even possible to maintain boundaries with a boundary-ignorer?
A bit of background, my MIL has been contemplating divorce for two years, even filing a restraining order for three weeks in 2020 and sending her two teenage sons to us for the better part of a year to "improve the marriage." FIL is toxic. He hasn't held a job in 20 years of marriage. He's delusional. He rants. He is the center of his own universe. He comes up with 101 ways he is going to Save the World, and if you express anything other than blatant support, YOU'RE the crazy one. He gets extremely angry, hides his family's electronics and loses them, cannot hold a rational conversation, is a hoarder, makes assumptions about how he can be helpful and creates a path of destruction in the process that his recipients have to clean up. Anything said that goes against him is disrespectful. He doesn't HEAR you when you're talking to him, and everything gets twisted so he ends up the victim and the martyr. His wife has always saved him and born the brunt of his verbal attacks - and everyone else is the reason why things don't go right for him. I could go on and on and on.
Hubby and I moved far away five years ago. I distanced myself from FIL, having been raised (and abused) by a similar personality growing up. He stayed in our home summer 2020 for six weeks after I had a new baby and it drove me insane. I dislike being around someone I disagree with so much - it makes me a doormat in my own home where I walk on eggshells and watch everything I say and do, and if I stand up for myself or anyone I turn into the bad guy with a smart mouth and a solid dose of passive aggressivism. The ensuing year FIL did NOT improve his relationships, so this last summer I requested he stay in a hotel. That totally bombed. He hadn't seen his teenage sons and baby grandkids in almost a year, and he ignored them and everyone the entire two weeks and we had a fallout discussion where I was labelled disrespectful and a terrible individual for requesting they book a hotel.
Cue the upcoming decades. 2BIL are staying with us for 4 weeks for winter break. MIL asked to stay for 4-5 days in January. I requested the hotel again - and MIL immediately said that's not an option, she is not having that discussion with FIL. My decision to not allow FIL in my home will mean, for the time being, MIL will not visit us and FIL won't allow the teenagers to fly out by themselves on holiday breaks. Hubby believes the tradeoff- appeasing an emotional abuser in my home - to get what we all would like - spending time with sweet MIL and teenage bros - is fine, just bury the feelings and clean up whatever mess he makes after they leave. I have CPTSD from my childhood. It is not fine to me. The teenagers do not want FIL in my house, because I run things very differently than he does and it's a safe space for them. They've expressed this on multiple occasions over the last two years.
- FIL doesn't drink, do drugs, or curse at all. So "emotional abuse" is not as important as other vices.
- I'm seen as weak for being so emotionally affected by this, and my husband as strong for being able to just ignore FIL and leave him alone. Should I do the same?


Source.