I?m blind in my left eye. But I can still see out of it

?Total vision loss.?
I stared at the ophthalmologist, my mouth hanging open. ?What??
?Your retina is completely destroyed.? The light flicked away from my dilated pupils, and his blurry face came into view. ?Your right eye is fine. But the left?? He shook his head. ?I?m sorry.?
?That?s impossible.?
I closed my right eye and looked around with my left?the supposedly blind one. Sure enough, I still saw the ophthalmologist?s face, the dim interior of the office, all foggy and blurred.
?I can see out of my left eye.?
He paused, and a heavy silence fell over the air. ?Well? anything you see out of that eye is going to be produced by your mind,? he said, picking his words carefully. ?If you?re seeing things, you might want to talk to? someone who can help.?
Someone obviously meant psychiatrist.
?Cheryl at the front desk can give you a referral. Do you need anything else?? he asked, standing up.
?No.?
I watched his blurry form leave. Then my girlfriend was beside me, helping me out of the chair. She didn?t say a word until we were back in the car.
?He?s a quack.?
?He went to MIT.?
?So? Obviously you can see out of your left eye. And how would your retina have gotten destroyed, anyway??
?Birth defect? Infection? I don?t know.? I sighed and stared at the blurry silhouettes of the mountains in the distance, bluish-purple scrolling by.
?Is there any difference in your left eye??
?I don?t think so.?
I placed a hand over my left eye, watching the world with my perfectly-functioning one. Blurry road ahead, bright sunlight, mountains in the distance. I placed a hand over my right eye, and looked around with the supposedly ?blind? one.
The same image.
I closed my left eye. Then my right. Then my left. Faster and faster, comparing every inch of the two images.
Wait.
In my left eye?the supposedly blind one?there was a dark spot on the mountain. Just slightly darker. Imperceptible, if I wasn?t looking for a difference. Nestled under the highest peak, like a stain.
?Do you see anything on the mountain??
?Huh??
I pointed to the blurry dark spot. ?Do you see anything there??
?Are you talking about the cell tower??
?I don?t think so.?
We got home and I spent a few hours lying in bed, waiting for the meds to wear off. When they did, I walked into the kitchen to find Kasey making dinner.
?You?re cooking??
?Don?t worry, I didn?t burn it.? She rolled her eyes. ?It?s pasta. Impossible to mess up. And I cut my finger while dicing the garlic for the sauce, so you?d better like it.?
?I bet I will,? I lied.
When I took a bite, I was pleasantly surprised?it was better than I expected, knowing Kasey?s cooking. Besides, it was the thought that mattered. Kasey was always like that: thoughtful. We?d only started dating six months ago, but she always tried so hard to make me happy. We sat down at the dinner table, joking and laughing, and things almost felt back to normal.
Almost.
I stopped mid-bite. Closed my left eye, then my right.
?What? Do I have sauce on my face, or something?? She rubbed at her mouth.
I opened my mouth, but I couldn?t speak. All I could do was stare.
From my left eye, her face looked slightly different. Her eyes were just a few millimeters closer together. Her cheeks pinched in slightly. Her lips were thinner, her chin longer.
?Rob??
I pushed out the chair. ?I?ll be right back.?
I stumbled into the bathroom, ran the tap, and splashed cold water on my face.
The differences were slight. If I?d seen a photo of her how my ?blind? eye saw her, I probably would just think it?s a weird photo. If I looked at it quickly, I probably wouldn?t notice a difference at all.
I?m freaking out over nothing.
There was obviously an explanation. Maybe I was slightly nearsighted or farsighted in my left eye, and that caused her face to be slightly distorted. Like a camera lens. I?d seen photos showing how the distance from the lens can distort a face. It must be something like that.
?Rob??
Her voice came through the door.
?Are you okay??
?I?m fine,? I managed to shout back.
Yes. Fine. Ruining a nice evening for no reason at all.
I wiped my face with the towel. Took in a deep breath to calm myself. Let it out slowly through my nose, counting to 10.
My hand curled around the doorknob.
?Sorry, I wa??
I froze.
There was something dark on her hand. Semi-transparent?like when you hold your finger too close to your face.
Like when you see something only out of one eye.
I closed my right eye and stared. It was the cut, from when she?d chopped the garlic. Sliced across the last joint of her index finger, a bit of blood crusted around the injury.
But it wasn?t red.
It was black.


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