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My (25f) fiancé's (26) mom (50s?) passed away a month ago. He has refound his fundamentalist Christi (by Sparky)
(29 / M-F / Massachusetts)
My (25f) fiancé's (26) mom (50s?) passed away a month ago. He has refound his fundamentalist Christian faith and I can't be with him anymore. How long do I wait to break up with him since his mom's passing is so recent?
Where to begin...
I love my fiancé very much, we have been together for almost four years. We met just after graduation and really hit it off. I knew he came from a very religious family but he had really separated himself from it since he had been away at college. I always sort of gritted my way through visits with his dad and stepmom where they would give me their fundamentalist views on very hut button subjects and the endless prayers and talk about "our savior." They are nice people but I could only spend so much time around them. His mom, who had long ago divorced his dad for the same reasons was very sweet and cool but lived across the country so we didn't see her very much.
The day after Christmas we got word that his mom had a very serious heart attack and passed away very suddenly. We did all the normal funeral things and I thought my boyfriend was handling it as well as can be expected but his dad and step mom showed up and almost seemed like they took over the proceedings and suddenly a very nice, dignified funeral was turned into like a fundamentalist televangelist show, complete with people from a local sister church who my boyfriends mom had never met acting as an around the clock "prayer team." I have never seen anything like it. My fiancé very slowly started slipping into the same behavior.
Since then he has essentially taken on his dad's personality, I understand he's grieving but he says that his mom's death has been the event that he needed to "reopen his heart to Jesus and he can never close it off again." I thought for sure this was a sign he was breaking up with me but he said that god had spoken to him and I was "just days" away from opening my own heart to Jesus.
Like I said, I understand his grief and I loved his mom too, but there is no way I can live my life like I saw his dad and stepmom live. It just won't work. I've decided that I am going to break up with him but I just don't know how long I need to give it since he's already experienced so much grief.
Question is, how long do I need to wait before breaking up with him?
tl;dr: I am going to break things off with my fiancé because he's gone back to his fundamentalist religious upbringing after his mom died and I don't know how long to wait.
Source.
Where to begin...
I love my fiancé very much, we have been together for almost four years. We met just after graduation and really hit it off. I knew he came from a very religious family but he had really separated himself from it since he had been away at college. I always sort of gritted my way through visits with his dad and stepmom where they would give me their fundamentalist views on very hut button subjects and the endless prayers and talk about "our savior." They are nice people but I could only spend so much time around them. His mom, who had long ago divorced his dad for the same reasons was very sweet and cool but lived across the country so we didn't see her very much.
The day after Christmas we got word that his mom had a very serious heart attack and passed away very suddenly. We did all the normal funeral things and I thought my boyfriend was handling it as well as can be expected but his dad and step mom showed up and almost seemed like they took over the proceedings and suddenly a very nice, dignified funeral was turned into like a fundamentalist televangelist show, complete with people from a local sister church who my boyfriends mom had never met acting as an around the clock "prayer team." I have never seen anything like it. My fiancé very slowly started slipping into the same behavior.
Since then he has essentially taken on his dad's personality, I understand he's grieving but he says that his mom's death has been the event that he needed to "reopen his heart to Jesus and he can never close it off again." I thought for sure this was a sign he was breaking up with me but he said that god had spoken to him and I was "just days" away from opening my own heart to Jesus.
Like I said, I understand his grief and I loved his mom too, but there is no way I can live my life like I saw his dad and stepmom live. It just won't work. I've decided that I am going to break up with him but I just don't know how long I need to give it since he's already experienced so much grief.
Question is, how long do I need to wait before breaking up with him?
tl;dr: I am going to break things off with my fiancé because he's gone back to his fundamentalist religious upbringing after his mom died and I don't know how long to wait.
Source.
(58 / M-F / Louisiana)
(49 / F-MF / Tennessee)Page 1 of 1
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