Q: Why did the Queen Bee get married? A: She found her honey.

Q: Why did the farmer turn his farm into a used auto parts junk yard? A: He wanted a "bumper" crop.

How do you kill a vegetarian vampire?
With a steak to the heart.

Why didn’t the lifeguard save the
hippie? Because he was too far out man!

You want to hear a pizza joke? Never
mind, it’s pretty cheesy.

A blind man walked into a bar.....and a table....and some chairs....

A guy at bar noticed a woman sitting at a table herself. He walks up to her & says pardon me but you look just like my ex-wife. She rudely replies Get away from me you drunk old geezer. The man say Hey you even sound like her.

Did you about the Mexican train killer? He had loco-motives.

What did Jay-Z called his wife before they got married?
Feyonce'

A drunk walked into a bar. He only got a concussion.