Your first message should make a simple introduction, express your interest in her profile, ask one or two long-game questions about things you share in common, and then simply sign-off with your name. A couple lines, or a paragraph or two is great. When guys write a lot more, they come on too strong.

Leave us wanting more. With your first message, your goal is to make us want to continue talking to you. When we see you’re the kind of guy who makes an effort in a first message, but knows not to go overboard, we’ll be impressed.