My [35/M] boyfriend [22/F] of two years expects me to pay half of everything, but I can't afford it. Am I being a jerk?

Hi, guys. Throwaway because my boyfriend occasionally looks at Dating.mobi. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and I moved in with him about six months ago. Almost everything else about our relationship is awesome, but the way he wants finances handled is starting to bother me a bit and I'd like some unbiased advice on whether I'm being unfair about it.
Boyfriend is significantly older than me and employed as an engineer, so he makes a very tidy income. I'm a grad student in a field that limits the amount of hours we can work and have financially supported my developmentally disabled brother since our mother passed away two years ago. Needless to say, I have significantly less spare cash than boyfriend does.
When we moved in together, the agreement was that we would split rent, utilities and groceries, which I had no problem with. Boyfriend's apartment is much nicer than anywhere I've ever lived, and my half of the rent is at the very high end of what I can afford. Since we have moved in together, though, he has started complaining that I don't contribute enough. Boyfriend also likes to go out with his friends nearly every night of the week, and always meets them at a nice restaurant or bar. They also all go on vacation together at least twice a year.
My problem is that boyfriend expects me to go on all of these outings with him and pay my half. I have tried suggested that I just stay home because I can't afford to be going out constantly, at which suggestion he got angry with me for not "being involved enough in his life". I later suggested that he might have to foot the bill for some of these things if he demanded I go, but this made him even more upset. He told me that since I'm a feminist I should pay for everything myself.
Today things really came to a head because he started making fun of my (old, crappy) phone and blew up when I suggested that he could replace it if it bothered him so much, because I couldn't afford to. He called me a gold digger, stormed out of the house, and hasn't answered my calls since. I feel awful and am really starting to question things and think that maybe we're just incompatible. Is it fair to expect a partner to participate in a lifestyle that they just can't afford?
tl;dr: I'm a graduate student on a very tight budget, while my older boyfriend makes a lot of money. He expects me to pay for for fancy nights out and holidays with his friends, and makes fun of me for not having nice things. I've tried talking to him, but he exploded and accused me of being a gold digger. Do you think I'm I being unfair to him? Just want to get some outside perspectives on the situation. Thanks in advance!


Source.

If you can't afford it then you can't afford it. He needs to stop being a pig and see this as a relationship, not a friendship. I wouldn't be with a man that treated me like that.

Aparently he doesn't get that he is supposed to be the provider in the relationship . The woman in the relationship should pay anywhere from 1/4 to zero of the bills . So many use money as power or to hold it over someone's head .