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My late fiance's old situationship posted a story of them together... what do I even say.. (by Sparky)

 Sparky (0)  (29 / M-F / Massachusetts)
19-Feb-24 9:30 am
My late fiance's old situationship posted a story of them together... what do I even say..

TLDR: she posted a kind of intimate story of them together from years ago and I asked her to delete it.
Ok. This is hard to write, but I feel extremely conflicted and hurt and confused.
My(28F) fiance (30M) died last week, he was hit by a car. We were together 4 years, we had pets together, were planning our marriage, our whole life. He had just proposed to me last month. He was my whole world. He was the sweetest, most giving, most loving, most loyal man I have ever known. I'm so lost, so broken, I have been not a human the past week. I feel out of my body, I feel like the world is over, I want to go with him honestly. I can't explain this pain.
I was doom scrolling to forget I exist. I ended up wanting to see who was posting about my fiance, to see some sweet messages from his friends, etc. I have his phone, so I just use it for comfort, old pictures, etc. I went on his instagram and scrolled through messages, reading outpouring of notes from our friends, etc. Suddenly, I see he was tagged in a story by this girl. Let's call her Lilly (fake name).
some background (he shared all of this with me): He met Lilly years ago at some festival. They became close quickly. He cheated on his high school sweetheart with her, and then still stayed in touch with her for over a year as "friends". He started dating another girl afterward and then proceeded to cheat on THAT girlfriend with Lilly as well (mind you, she knew he was in a relationship both of these times). After they broke up, him and Lilly began a very complex, intense, passionate situationship. They hooked up on and off, he was desperately in love with her and she strung him along and was unwilling to commit, calling him her "best friend", but she didn't feel that "spark", etc. etc. (again him and I were very open with each other about our past, he told me everything at the start of our relationship). They finally stopped talking after about a year and a half of this back and forth, and never spoke again (besides her sending one or two "happy birthdays" and him just saying thanks, again, he showed me).
I want to add here - yes, I'm aware he was a **** boyfriend before. He cheated. But keep in mind - he was single and didn't even have sex with anyone for two years before meeting and starting a relationship with me. He wanted to reconstruct himself. This is also to say - he met me after being no contact with Lilly for two years at that point. I want to reiterate - I've been in toxic situations in the past, but this man was the most incredible man. I was beyond lucky. I don't know how I'll ever find someone even remotely close to this man. I need NEED NEED you to understand this. I wish I could show everyone who he is, but obviously for the sake of privacy I won't. But he was one in a million. God.
So. I'm looking through his notifications sobbing and i see a post from her. It's a selfie of them (during the months they were "together", hooking up, whatever). They were sitting very close to each other, he was kissing her cheek and she was smiling and leaning into him. The caption was "The sweetest soul I have ever known. You were my best friend. I have always loved you, you did not deserve this. I want to hug you one more time " with a broken heart.
I ****ing lost it. I know they never dated, I know they had their private moments whatever, and she deserves to grieve a boy she knew for a long time. Yes, I understand all this... I validate her feelings. But the post made it seem like they were together? And this was PUBLIC to everyone (she had a public account). I fell to the floor. In a moment of impulse rage, I went on my phone and messaged her: " Dear Lilly. I understand you're grieving, and I'm sorry for your loss as well. but I personally find this post incredibly inappropriate, and this makes me profoundly upset at a time when I cannot handle more pain. Out of respect for our relationship, out of respect for me, his fiance, I'm kindly asking you to please delete this. If you wanted to post something, which I completely understand, do you think it could be less intimate? I hope you can honor my wishes". She leaves me on read for hours. I'm in agony waiting for her to delete this. At a time when I should be grieving, I'm just messed up over this post. She then messages me back the following: "Dear (my name). (Name of my fiance) and I had an extremely special and unique relationship long before you met him. We knew each other for years. I understand how you feel, but I'm keeping this up to honor what we had. I'm allowed to grieve too". I haven't responded, this is sending me into a spiral. I want to go off on her, but I don't even know what to say. What do I even say?

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