I (25M) told my wife (26F) that I am preparing to end our marriage because I feel she chose her racist father over our family.

There's more context in my earlier posts, but essentially, my wife cut off her racist father while we were dating, in large part because of comments he made about my son, who is black. My wife started to miss her dad while she was pregnant and now wants to find a way for him to have limited involvement in our lives. He really wants to know our newborn, and she says he is willing to "follow rules" to have a relationship with him. I am considering leaving her because of all of this, so yesterday we sat down to talk about everything.
My wife and I are really good friends with another couple. Because we had such a bad experience with therapy, the wife from this couple, who is one of my wife's best friends, agreed to moderate our discussion. Her husband watched our kids. I laid it all out on the table, that I would never accept her father and would do everything possible to protect my kids from her father, that I would never allow him near my older son and would do everything possible to keep him away from the baby as well.
My wife asked if I was planning on leaving her, and I said I was preparing myself emotionally for that possibility. My wife said that no one else in her family wants anything to do with her accept for her father, that they have all cut her off. She said she really wants our baby to know someone from her family. I asked if that was worth the cost that came with it, and she said no, but that she wished I would try to understand.
I said I wasn't capable of understanding wanting someone like that in our child's life. She said her father was from a different time and grew up hearing really nasty things about black people, and it isn't his fault. I said I honestly didn't care and was sorry if that made me a bad person. I said "I married you, not your dad. If I knew it was a package deal, I wouldn't have married you."
Our friend interjected at that point and said we needed to focus on solutions and a plan forward. My wife said she would continue to talk to her father but not send him any pictures or information of/about the kids. This is a fair compromise. The thing is though, I don't believe her anymore. I feel like she's just saying what I want to hear. Am I delusional? Is there any chance of saving my marriage?
TL;DR: My wife wants her racist father to know our newborn, even though my older child is half black. I don't know if I can save my relationship.


Source.