I (28f) stood up to my (42m) abuser for the first real time

I?ve posted in here before, some of you might remember me. Maybe not. I?ve been married since I was 19. Today he pushed me too far, I am not comfortable specifying why but it was too far. I?m not a physically large person, well, I?m short (I?m a little overweight), neither is my husband. He?s only 6 inches taller than me. But when he screams his face is like someone else?s, all the veins in his neck stand up, he?s also extremely fit and spends 3-4 hours a day lifting weight so he is imposing even though he is short. I?d never seen anything like it until I was married. Even though he?s not that much taller, he imposes, he holds himself over me, he spits or raises his fists (he never follows through, but sometimes on objects) It?s scary, when someone is like that, to get back in their face. Today I did. I screamed. As loud as I could. GET AWAY FROM ME. DONT EVER (do what he did) EVER AGAIN. I told him he was a bully, and that he was a bad person. He called me a B and a C and told me to F off and F myself etc, just the usual. (Well at least today he didn?t tell me I was an R word who deserved to (perish) in the elements, haha) It didn?t go over very well. He was enraged, he went on for about 2 hours after that, screaming and melting down. He says my outburst is finally proof that I am an abuser, that all this time it?s just been me, driving him to his limit with my toxic personality, that I don?t listen to him and don?t respect him which is why he?s forced to ?act? to get me to ?do the minimum?. I had a freeze response almost immediately after shouting, which I struggle with. He often yells and screams for 2-6 hours and freezing up and playing dead make it end faster. I want to leave now, but I feel stuck. I have some money and good credit, I?m wondering what the next steps are? I have no family or friends anymore because I?ve been out of contact for so long at his demand. I have children, am I allowed to take them with me without his consent to a new home if I can find one? I can?t do this anymore.
TLDR; I need some help escaping


Source.