I (33F) recently got married (32M) and arguing everyday since, even on our honeymoon.

Turning to this sub because I?m feeling alone and can?t talk to friends and family. I?ve painted a picture everything is fine.
Few things to know about our relationship, we?ve been together 3 years. We were different people when we first met and I was a party girl ready to settle down and he wanted to continue partying with drugs and alcohol. I moved out for 6 months and he gave up the partying and drugs and asked for us to be together again. So we bought a house together in the suburbs out of the city to get married and start a future family.
There?s been a lot of ups and downs sharing a house together. Oddly moving out of the city ceased the cocaine addiction but his alcoholism increased. When we first moved in April he suffered from delirium tremens and went to the doctor for treatment. We were able to get him on some anti-anxiety medication but it only temporarily helps.
As the year moved forward I ended up planning the whole wedding by myself. I had no help from either side of the family until I was begging for it. I coordinated every vendor and activity. Planning the wedding and helping my fianc? with his alcoholism strained my happiness and mental health. I started developing bad habits of lashing out in anger and I can?t stop myself from nagging on and on about what?s right or wrong.
It?s now a day before the wedding and my fianc? lashed out at me in a way I hadn?t seen since we had broken up momentarily a year ago. Long story short we were at a family pre-party before the rehearsal dinner and I suffer from IBS. This was a bad case of it bubbling in my intestines and I asked my fianc? if we could leave the party of 18 guests and 1 bath and find a bathroom elsewhere. He seemed genuinely concerned and drove me to the nearest Safeway. 15 mins go by before I walk back to the car after doing my business. He starts screaming at me asking me what took so long. Telling me how I embarrassed him in front of his family for leaving and all sorts of name calling. He was seeing RED. He even tried to kick me out of the car on the side of the highway. I got him to calm down and drive us to the rehearsal dinner. I tried to pull it together but once I was seated in front of everyone I started bawling my eyes out. My nerves were all over the place. My parents knew something wrong and spoke to me about it. My dad took him aside nicely but firmly told him to never treat me like that again, to get his **** together and start acting like an adult.
The wedding day was rocky in the morning but turned into a beautiful day and our reception was a lot of fun. I wish I could of enjoyed it more but again, I became the wedding planner of my own wedding and didn?t get partake in activities and moments like the rest of the family did. Even the 1 dance we could of shared he spent dancing with his niece. I got the last 20 seconds.
The next day we started our honeymoon in Kona Hawaii and we fought everyday we were there. He hated the hotel I booked (I did too but I tried to make the most of it) he hated the restaurants, the activities planned. He made it miserable for me because he told me all he wanted to do was lay on the beach and drink Mai tais. We did that for the first 3 days and the last 3 days were activities. He kicked and pouted on each excursion. Yes he had been drinking a lot for the 6 days we were there. Our arguments were so heated, the put downs and name callings were some of the worst things said to one another. He tried to book an early flight home he was so done with it. He kept bringing up how awful it was my father cornered him at the rehearsal dinner. I felt so guilty for planning such an awful honeymoon but also felt my dad needed to speak up and say something to him about his attitude.
We island hopped to Maui and his attitude switched. He was calmer and much nicer to be around. My parents even booked us a nice sailing day trip and dinner. We ended the honeymoon on a good note.
When we came home we?ve jumped right back into arguing. Again, he keeps bringing up my family and them giving him a swift talking to. To be fair, my dad ended it very nicely saying he?s family now and he wants to be there for him during the bad or good times. I don?t understand why he doesn?t see the whole picture.
I don?t know how to stop arguing or having massive blow ups. I feel like my now husband doesn?t give a sh*t about his health or overcoming his alcoholism. I calmly try to tell him how this concerns me and that I?m worried he won?t make it past 40. Doctors are telling him he has a fatty liver, high blood pressure. I think he?s suffering from sleep apnea or confusion arousal and he uses alcohol like a sleep-aid. Since we been home, I?m finding all sorts of hidden vodka bottles. I have an appointment with a sleep specialist this week and hoping this will relieve some tension. I?m feeling very depressed at the moment.
TLDR: husband recovered from cocaine but still suffering from alcoholism. Lashing out at me during our rehearsal dinner and honeymoon.


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