I Swear, I'll Never F*ck with the Woods Again

Ben and I had thought a vacation would be nice. After working endlessly upon our graduation from college, we hoped to get away from it all. It was supposed to be a relaxing getaway in the woods, one during which we could drink, laugh, and just enjoy being alone together. Living with our respective parents wasn?t the easiest, but we made it work in hopes of accumulating enough savings to buy a home of our own. That?s why we decided to go camping, a decision I?d soon regret more than any other stupid choice I?d made in my 22 years of life.
Finding a campground that was open during October in New England was harder than one could imagine, and we wound up having to drive nearly four hours from our hometown to the site. For your sake, I won?t tell you exactly where we were, but just know it was near some rather famous northern mountains. The campground we chose advertised that it had 100 acres of woods surrounding it, and in the light of day when we?d booked it, that seemed like a fantastic feature. We wanted to be enclosed by trees, having all the privacy in the world to engage in? whatever sort of activities we desired.
Between both of our parents? garages, we were able to scrounge up enough camping supplies to avoid purchasing the necessities. We grabbed a tent from my parents, some propane stoves and chairs from Ben?s, along with other miscellaneous things. I won?t bore you with the details of the ride, setup, or really any of our mundane first few days, as the eventful part of our trip began three days after our arrival.
We had decided, after many days of sleeping in, watching movies, and drinking, that we should probably actually do something mildly outdoorsy. You may laugh, but the hike we embarked on was worse for our health than any bottle of wine we drank or package of Oreos we ate.
There was a trailhead we had seen at the back of the campground, somewhat hidden by a dead bush and a trashcan. We pushed those aside to reveal a beaten down path with red markers scattered along the sides ? it most definitely was a trail, although it may have not been used in a bit. Shrugging, we exchanged a glance that said ?may as well try it? and stepped over the twigs and branches that were the only thing between us and our mistake.
I complained a few times on the way up, but Ben loved the trail. It was a constant uphill trek, with a river running alongside us. Every now and then we would stop and take in the view beside us ? there were small patches of trampled vegetation where previous nature enthusiasts had tread before us, and we used every one to catch our breath. It?s not that we were out of shape per say, but rather that we were not used to these kinds of activities. Nothing in our town compared to this, and being the novices we were, we had failed to pack water or any other provisions aside from our cell phones, rendered useless with the lack of service, and a cheap multi-tool I had picked up from Wal-Mart.
After what felt like hours, but probably was only forty-five minutes, we reached an impasse where the water rushed over the trail. We couldn?t tell if it continued, but neither of us really wanted to go any further. It was at this point we sat on a log and caught our breath.
?Claire, did you bring any water?? Ben asked me, gesturing that he had nothing.
?No, I didn?t think we?d need it. I guess you didn?t either? we chuckled a bit at our stupidity. Ben looked at me, then glanced at the water before us. It was crystal clear, and I hadn?t given it much thought until I realized we probably could drink it.
?Water like this is safe, I read that somewhere. Or maybe, I heard it. You know I don?t read much. Either way, when it moves this fast I guess bacteria can?t grow in it. Plus it?s cold, and it?s probably mountain runoff. I?d risk it. I?m ****ing thirsty?
?I dunno Ben, it looks fine but you never know. What if there?s some kind of chemical runoff too??
?What, from all the chemical plants on top of the mountain? Plus, animals around here must drink something. They probably drink this, and they?re fine? I nodded in agreement. I couldn?t really argue with him, and besides, I was thirsty.
?You?re right. It can?t hurt, it?s natural after all. Cavemen did it? I rationalized. I stepped forward before Ben did, and reached my hands out, balancing precariously on the moss-covered rocks.
?Be careful,? Ben warned, reaching out to grab my waist as I leaned closer to the rushing water ?If you fall in, there?s no way I can get you out. Not in time. You?ll probably bash your head in or worse, ruin your pretty face? I could hear the smirk I knew was spreading across his mouth.
?Then you?d have to leave me, wouldn?t you?? I said grinning, ?I?ve got this? I reached my cupped hands out, relying on his arms to hold me steady. The cold water rushed into them, and I pulled my arms back and my hands up to my lips, taking in the sweet water. It felt good as it ran down my throat, and a bit dripped down my chin, removing any sweat that had accumulated during our walk. I did this a few more times before saying ?Okay, your turn? and having him let me down.
Ben was taller than I, and required less help reaching the water. After we both quenched our thirst, we sat down for a few more minutes before deciding to head back. It would probably be half an hour or so before we reached camp, and the light was already fading around us. We would be back before dark, but only if we got a move on soon.
The trek down the trail was unremarkable, and much easier than the climb up. Ben and I joked around, chatted, and generally just enjoyed each other?s company. Upon arriving back at our campsite, I grabbed my towel to go shower while Ben started up a fire to cook dinner.
I walked down to the bathhouse, toting my toiletry bag, fresh clothes, my phone, and some quarters for the water. I opened the door, locking it behind me ? there was no one else here, meaning anyone who did come in would probably have bad intentions. I most certainly did not need that. I chose the stall furthest from the door anyways, just in case, and closed the curtain in the small dressing area before taking off my dirty clothes. I threw a few quarters in the shower, hearing them clank at the bottom of the metal basket in the machine, and pressed the start button.
The warm water felt nice on my body; it was a different kind of refreshing when compared to the water we had drank earlier. I felt the sweat leaving my pores, and began shampooing before I heard it. Someone was walking around the bathhouse, pacing in the space between the toilet stalls and shower curtains. I froze in panic, hoping to be as soundless as possible, but knowing the flowing water above my head was betraying me. The pacing quickened, back and forth, up and down the aisle in front of me. I heard it come close, as if whoever owned those feet were standing right outside my curtain. Against my better judgement, I crouched to look in the gap between the curtain and the ground.
Nothing.
I sighed, figuring it must be all in my head, and continued showering. Paranoia has a way of doing that to someone, I rationed, and being alone and naked in an unfamiliar place would definitely be enough to make me paranoid.
The rest of my shower finished without event, and I dried off before dressing myself in some sweats and a hoodie I had stolen from Ben before making my way back to our site.
Upon my arrival, I saw Ben rushing around the site, flashlight in hand, shining it around every tree. ?What are you doing Ben?? I asked, wondering if he had dropped something or, even better, managed to have our food stolen by a squirrel.
?I? I heard something Claire. I thought it might be you, trying to trick me, but I don?t think so. It was in the trees, pacing back and forth?
?Stop. You?re scaring me?
?I?m not trying to. But I?m scared. I don?t know what it was. I didn?t see anything? Ben?s eyes were wild. I knew he wasn?t lying, and I felt my heart drop.
?Ben, how long ago did you hear this? Is it still here?? I asked, trying not to let my voice shake
?No, no. It left probably ten, maybe fifteen minutes ago. But the thing is, I didn?t hear it leave. Whoever it is has to still be around. And there?s no way I?m letting my guard down without finding it?
I didn?t want to tell him, but I knew I had to. ?Ben, I heard it too. But not here, in the bathroom. I was showering, and someone was pacing around. There was no one in there, and I had locked the door?
?And you?re not ****ing with me?? I could hear the panic in his voice rising. I shook my head, grabbing our second flashlight and joining his search. After half an hour, we determined that whoever made the noise was not there. Cautiously, we resumed starting the fire Ben had abandoned, and cooked our dinner. Neither of us felt particularly comfortable, but there really wasn?t anything we could do. We were in the woods, woods made noises.
As we were about to settle into bed, I felt my stomach churn. It wasn?t in the way it did when I ate too much ice cream, or the one time I had food poisoning. I don?t know how to explain it, but it felt like someone was literally stirring the contents of my stomach around with a great speed. I looked up at Ben, ?Babe, I don?t feel so good?
He turned to me, his face pale ?Me neither? my stomach? it feels?? He didn?t even get to finish his sentence, as nausea overtook both of us and we vomited all over the dirt beneath our feet. Just when we thought it had stopped, we both started again. After a few rounds of this, we were finally able to catch our breath. Shakily, we stood up and went to the bathroom to brush our teeth.
I made Ben let me into the men?s room with him. There was no way I was going into the bathroom alone again.
We settled into our sleeping bag, opting to share one without so much as a second thought. Neither of us wanted to be alone. I had just felt sleep come over me when I was awakened by a shuffling noise probably a few feet from our tent wall. I reached over to shake Ben awake, but noticed he was already.
?You hear it too, don?t you?? He whispered. I had never seen him so scared. I nodded, too afraid to speak. Cautiously, he sat up, reaching over for the axe we used to chop wood. I pulled his arm, hoping it would convey to him my desire for him not to leave. He shook it off, whispering ?either come with me or stay put? I opted for the first one, but only because I didn?t think I could stand being alone.
Cautiously, we unzipped the tent, trying to make as little sound as possible. I poked my head out first, wanting to take in my surroundings. I saw nothing and motioned for Ben to do the same. He too saw nothing, and perhaps stupidly, we stepped outside.
Armed with a wood chopping axe and the biggest stick I could find nearby, we walked together around the tent. I gripped the back of Ben?s shirt tightly in my free hand, too afraid to let go. He shone the flashlight everywhere just as he had before, and just like before, we saw nothing. As we had resolved that it must have been a squirrel or maybe a skunk, and began heading back into the tent, I heard the distinct sound of footsteps behind me. I froze, and Ben did too.
Almost like something out of a movie, we turned around to face whatever it was behind us. At first, we saw nothing again. The woods before us were dark, and nothing seemed amiss. Then, to our utter horror, as Ben raised the flashlight, three pairs of eyes reflected light back at us. They were poking around the tree, peering at us through gaps in branches.
They were too large to be squirrels, but too high up to be any kind of deer or even moose. Ben and I stood, frozen in our tracks, as the eyes began to move. Slowly, they got closer to us. Several figures emerged, probably eight or ten feet tall. They were definitely shaped like humans. I knew they weren?t human not only by their height, but by they way they absorbed the light we shone on them. The woods behind them were dark, but they were darker. It was as if every single wave of light went into them, only growing the darkness within. The only way we could see them was by their eyes, shiny orbs moving ever closer to us.
The car was too far away for us to get in. Besides, the keys were in the tent. Like children, Ben and I dove into the tent, zipping it up rapidly and burying ourselves in our sleeping bag. Maybe, if we showed no skin, those things would go away just like you do as a child ? you hope if you?re covered by a blanket, the monster will not find you.
We stayed there, huddled together in that small sleeping bag as we heard the shuffling surround our tent. I began to cry soundlessly, and Ben could to nothing besides hold me close. I don?t know how, but by some miracle we made it through the night. At the first sign of daylight, we crept out, making our way to the door. We exited and saw nothing amiss. The ground didn?t even look like anything had been walking around last night, and the big stick I could have sworn I grabbed was still in the pile of our firewood.
Ben and I exchanged a look that conveyed our confusion. After a moment, I was the first to speak, ?was that? was it even real??
?The.. those? those things?? Ben stuttered. I could see he was trembling.
?Yeah, you saw them right??
?How could I not??
?Ben? it looks like they were never here. That stick, right there, I grabbed it last night. I remember, I swear I did. And your flashlight, you dropped it on the way in. But, but it?s next to the bed. I don?t know what happened, but we both remember it. I don?t want to ask you, but can you? can you tell me what you saw??
He described, in vivid detail, the exact same thing I saw last night. Down to the eyes and the bodies and the shuffling being two feet from our bed. We tried to figure out what could have possibly happened that led both of us to the same delusion but could not figure it out. That was, until I remembered the one thing we did out of the norm.
?Remember, we got really sick right before bed? What if, what if we had something weird in our systems? Like? we drank that water Ben. We could have gotten sick from it, I don?t know. It wouldn?t really explain how we had the same hallucinations, but it would explain the weirdness of yesterday.?
Ben agreed that maybe there was something in the water. While it didn?t make a whole lot of sense, we clung to that idea as we got in the car to go to the nearest urgent care. We had agreed not to tell the doctor the full story, but rather to say we had hallucinated a few times, leaving out the ?shared? part. We were seen fairly quickly, and upon explaining our shared symptoms, the doctor agreed that we had foolishly consumed unsafe water.
We peed in cups, ran some blood tests, and were told to wait. They wanted to make sure further care wasn?t needed was what we were told, but the place looked deserted to me. They probably wanted something to do and having us there was no real burden. Feeling safe there, we decided to stay.
In short, the doctor told us that all the tests came back negative. There were no foreign bodies in our blood, we hadn?t consumed any tapeworms, and we really had nothing wrong with us. We were told to not drink any strange water, but that our symptoms were more likely to have been caused by food poisoning than anything else. He told us if we did happen to hike the same trail again, we could bring in some of the water for testing, but in reality, that wouldn?t do much. They would be happy to alleviate our fears though. We were released shortly after.
Despite the damper on our vacation, we decided to stay. If that was the worst of it, and if there was nothing wrong with us, tonight should be a breeze. It was about three o?clock when I had the bright idea to hike back up that trail. Ben was hesitant, but I persuaded him, arguing that ?we could get some of the water to get it tested? and ?it would tire us out, and probably help us sleep better?. Soon he gave in and we were off, this time with one full water bottle and one empty to collect a sample.
The trailhead looked much the same as when we had found it, blocked off and marked, although the branches where we had created an entrance were trampled from our footfalls. The climb up seemed almost worse this time; I had thought the river followed us the whole way up, but even after fifteen minutes we still didn?t hear the faintest trickle of water. Another fifteen passed before I asked Ben ?shouldn?t we have found it by now??
?Found what??
?The water. Didn?t we stop over there to look at it?? I pointed to a small path leading to our right
?****. I thought I was crazy, but I guess not. We definitely should have passed it by now?
We trekked on, figuring that the water would be there eventually. It was when it began to get dark that I knew we were ****ed. The light had faded around us, but in the shade of the trees we hadn?t noticed a dramatic shift. We had planned to be out maybe two hours round trip, but when I checked my watch, I realized we had been climbing up for that amount of time. We should have hit the river by now, but we hadn?t. We hadn?t found any water at all, not even a puddle.
I was about to point this out to Ben when we heard the leaves begin to rustle around us. I grabbed his arm tighter than I ever thought possible and could feel him shaking too. I wasn?t imagining it. The footfalls grew closer as our eyes met, and we spun on our heels, peeling out of the woods as fast as we could. I fell a few times on rocks and roots, Ben turning to help me up before we ran again. If the trip in was two hours, this must have been half that. I had never moved so fast in my life.
The whole time, I heard the shuffling around us. It wasn?t fast, in fact, it felt very calm and well-paced. Somehow, these things were keeping up with us even as we ran as fast as we could. I didn?t bother to rationalize it, I just kept running.
We burst through the trailhead, but we didn?t stop there. Sprinting, we raced back to the car as if our lives depended on it ? if you ask me, they most certainly did. Ben grabbed the keys out of the tent as I opened the doors. Neither of us bothered to pack up. Neither of us cared. We tore out of the campground faster than we should have been able to on those rocky dirt roads. Once on the road, we didn?t stop until we reached a rest stop far from any trees or woods. Neither of us wanted to get out, but we had to. We needed gas, and we needed to collect ourselves. I noticed Ben kept looking around, jumping when he saw my shadow, or even his own.
Eventually we decided we had to stop at a hotel for the night. We were in no condition to drive, and a hotel full of people felt safe enough. I doubted either of us would sleep, but we both found comfort in knowing we were not alone in the woods anymore.
I can?t stop thinking about the water, and how it was gone. I don?t know if we upset some ancient spirit by drinking it, or if we did get some unknown disease. All I know is that I won?t be ****ing with the woods ever again if I ever make it out of this hotel room.
Ben is in the shower as I type this. I don?t know if he hears it, but I do. They followed us here, I can hear the shuffling outside the door. I want to call the front desk, but my guess is they won?t see them. And if they can, I don?t want them to have to. I have the chain locked, the latch done, and have even pushed the desk against the door, but I know they won?t leave. They?re patient, they?ll wait for us.


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