UPDATE: My husband turned 40 and suddenly became the man I married again

I wanted to give an update on my post from a few days ago since everyone who commented was so helpful.
I talked to my husband and asked him if he was taking testosterone as many of the commenters thought he was. He said no and was curious why I asked. So we talked a bit and I really pressed him hard on what was going through his mind a year ago to make him change so much and I was able to tease 2 things out of him.
The first was an incident at work. It happened about six months before he made his transformation and I knew about it at the time because he told me. He didn?t make a really big deal about it and barely mentioned it after telling me so I just forgot it even happened until he mentioned it.
My husband is a VP of Finance at a rather large private company and two members of his staff were engaging in an affair. The woman involved in the affair was married and about my age and her husband had started to call the office. So it became a thing he had to deal with since he was their boss. He told me at the time but I guess this saga dragged on for some months and when the woman in question began to open up to others in the office regarding the reason she had the affair, some of those reasons hit home for my husband. Her husband was behaving much like he was. So he said that isn?t going to be me and set out to fix it.
The second thing I teased out of him is that he quit watching porn. Now I do want to say that I don?t care that he watched porn, I do myself on occasion. But when he watched it and obviously finished himself afterward, it drained any desire he had for me. I guess he started when the kids were really young and I was just exhausted all the time and he just kept it up because it was easy. He quit because to fix our marriage he had to get that desire back for me. So he did it.
So after this conversation a lot of things make sense. I also understand why he didn?t want to tell me. He didn?t want me to think that the possibility that I could cheat had entered his mind. And the porn is sort of self explanatory.
ORIGINAL POST:
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationshi...ecame_the_man/
Hi, I?m new here. I create this account because something happened to my husband about a year ago and I don?t know what to make of it.
My husband has always been a good man, and he?s a wonderful father. He also has a great career and very driven to succeed. But after the kids were born his passion for me had waned. He was once very affectionate and flirty and he couldn?t keep his hands off me. We had date nights and would take weekend trips filled with kissing, hand holding and a lot of sex. But after the kids all of that began to fade and it continued to the point that I felt like we were roommates. I kept myself in shape for him and initiated sex often. He would never turn me down but it was lazy. It was basically get off quick and go to sleep. So after a while I just stopped imitating.
This continued for years and I had just grown used to it. I still loved him, I had no desire to cheat or divorce. I just figured this is what happens after kids and I?ll just deal with it.
Then, about a year ago he got a babysitter and asked me if I wanted to go away for the weekend just the two of us. I was shocked but agreed. And the entire weekend he was affectionate and flirty and just fun. He hadn?t acted this way in years. He was a completely different guy and that included in the bedroom too. This may be TMI but my husband hadn?t performed oral sex on me in 10 years and every time he had before he was kind of terrible at it. But while we were away he just did it without asking and he was amazing at it.
This new attitude continued when we got home and a few months after that I started to notice that he had lost weight. Shortly after that he started to look more toned as well. He had gotten a dad bod but now he looked better than when we got married. I won?t lie, I had difficulty keeping my hands off him.
He?s basically become the perfect husband overnight, I don?t know what happened. He says he just wanted to be a better husband but there was no event that triggered it outside of turning 40. Could that be it?
I?ve read that middle aged men sometimes get in shape because they are looking to cheat. But that?s not the case. He?s never cheated or had any desire too. We have lifestyle 360 for the kids and I see where he is. It?s work and home. I also see all his texts since we share an iPad.
So I?m kind of stumped.
TLDR: My husband suddenly became a perfect husband and I don?t know why


Source.